Is chess a spork?
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Chess is more like an egg slicer. Generally useless and difficult to clean. A toy for the rich.
Sporks are too utilitarian and used by hobos.
No doubt chess players exhibit gargantuan levels of sporksmanship, so it is possible it's a spork, probably wooden seeing as that's what everything in chess is usually made out of.
My theory is that male chess players are so concerned over defending their masculinity, they feel the need to indulge in violent displays such as stabbing with the aforementioned sporks.
In summary, women's chess is probably just a spoon.
Men are also more into breasts; it doesn't make breasts male.
I think we first have to agree on the definition of spork, I mean, it could be a half-spoon-half-fork eating utensil, but on the other hand it could be canned mystery meat not unlike spam. Given all of the evidence to that end in these forums, I certainly lean towards the latter.
One thing I think we can all agree upon, though, is that chess is not speef.
It occurs to me you could conceivably eat spork with a spork. I think the universe may collapse in upon itself if you did though.
Speef...it's what's for dinner.
Where I'm from, 'to spoon' means to hit a football shot waaaaaaaaaaay over the bar. It can also be used to describe any particularly horrible miss, though the high-and-handsome row z shot is most appropriate.
I saw that first on Animal Planet, with reference to #10
So full of hate.
Chess is a Team Spork, because all of your pieces must work together as a team to suceed. If one member is placed badly and not pulling their weight, the whole team loses. Michael Stean, Simple Chess, (1978, reprinted 2002).
As for spam, it's very popular in East Asia with Kimchi, rice and eggs. The same is sold at high-end ethnic restaurants in some U.S. cities. But it's still yuk.
The Japanese are wild about Kentucky Fried Chicken. Go figure.
Hm.. already moved to off topic at under 20 posts when all of the ridiculous "is chess a sport" threads still live on in the main forum 
I beg your sarden pirs, chess is not a spork but rather a spoonerism! A mixture of the forward and backward.
Sess Chets, Pess Cheices, Bess Choards, Pless Chayers, Cless Chocks or Tess Chimers, Tess Chournaments, online Sess Chervers and Mand Grasters
Cagnus Marlsen is the Borld's West, but Vishy is the Chorld Wampion!
Yes chess is indeed a spoonerism, & y'all all are all tunalics for sugesting otherwise. Now I'm going to leave this discussion and eat a chilled grease sandwich while I chudy stess with a bess chook.
BTW I know I'm a little late to this discussion but I wanted to Thump the Bread. (bump the thread)
Is chess a spork? If it is, is it a plastic spork or a metal spork? If it isn't, why not? Discuss in your words what you think characteristics of a spork are and whether or not chess fits that description.