My computer beat me in chess... but it was no match aginast me in kick-boxing!
JOKES!!
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Little boy: "my Math teacher keeps asking me questions. You'd think she'd know the answers by now!"
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
An animal that talks you head off.
cjt33, I know lots of jokes but a lot of them are very corney!! I'm not posting everyone I know.
How did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
to guys walk into a bar Why?
because they forgot to duck...
Sunday school teacher: Malcolm, do you want to go to Heaven?
Malcolm: I'd better not. My Mum told me to come straight home after sunday school.
cjt33 wrote:
to guys walk into a bar Why?
because they forgot to duck...
LOL
Albert: I have a very smart dog. He's good at Math.
Gilbert: Aw, I bet he isn't!
Albert: Watch. Fido, how much is 100 minus 100?
Sure enough... Fido said nothing!
Chuck: Isn't the plumber here yet? I've been pluging this leak with my finger for five hourse!
Chester: Well you might as well stop. The house is on fire.
Two players chat at the chess club :
"Last time my wife said she couldn't handle it anymore, that I was really an addict, and that if I went to the tournament tomorrow she would divorce"
"Oh, that's bad dude. What are you going to do ?"
"I don't know. Probably 1.e4."
Ken: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face-to-face with a tiger?
David: No, what happened?
Ken: I didn't have a gun. I just stood there. The tiger crept closer and closer...
David: Gosh, what did you do?
Ken: I moved onto the next cage.
Teacher: Name five members of the cat family.
Student: Mother cat, father cat and three kittens.
Teacher: How many seasons are there in a year?
Student: Two - baseball and football.
You guys are a joke:)
A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! "What's it like, where you are now," he asked. "What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news." "Tell me the good news first." "Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them." "Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?" "You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."
A college teacher was getting upset with one student because he was sloppy and messy. So he decided to speak up.
College Teacher: You really need to take more care of yourself! I can see in your teeth what you had for breakfast!
Student: Oh yeah? What'd I have?
College Teacher: Eggs!
Student: WRONG! That was yesterday!
netzach wrote:
You guys are a joke:)
Thanks! 
Teacher: Robert Burns wrote: "To a Field Mouse."
Student: I'll bet he didn't get an answer!
How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb ?
“Nine.
One to complain about the lighting levels,
one to say he thinks the lighting is OK,
one to suggest someone calls the arbiter,
one to go and call the arbiter,
one to reminisce about lighting levels at the 1947 tournament at Hastings,
one to complain about the disturbance the others are causing,
both arbiters, and
one to say he thought the lighting was better before they changed the lightbulb.”
please post all of the jokes you know here!!!