Jokes


Christian Pick-up Lines!
Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you. |
For you I would slay two Goliaths. |
You float my ark. |
Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you? |
So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and I realized... I don't have yours! |
I didnt believe in predestination until tonight. |
The word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'... how about dinner? |
I know its absurd, but every time I walk towards you, it feels like I'm being lead to Bethlehem. |
My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits |
You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you. |
You are perfect, except with all the sin. |
I went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you. |
Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing. |
I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you I've converted to divine revelation. |
Bathsheba had nothing on you. |
Mark Driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory. |
Bible-Gateway happens to be my homepage. |
Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. |
How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me? |
How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life? |
If you say no, I will rip out my hair and my beard. |
Unfortunately I cant perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people. |
It's obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil. |
I believe one of my ribs belongs to you. |
I just don't feel called to celibacy. |
I'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman... |
If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair. |
Let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do. |
I'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days. |
Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix. |
When I read philippians 4:8, I think about you. |
I put the "stud" in bible study. |
I didn't know angels flew this low. |
I'm no Joseph... perhaps you can help me interpreting the dreams I've been having about you? |
Is it a sin that you stole my heart? |
Is your name Faith? Cause you're the substance of things I've hoped for. |
Want to practice speaking in tongues with me? |
Here's my number... Call me if you need prayer. |
What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list? |
I'm usually not very prophetic, but I can see us together. |
I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder |
Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me. |
You make me want to be a better Christian. |
You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo. |
Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you. |

Interesting! Most are clever, some are offensive, some are hilarious, some are stupid - just like the people of this world!

Interesting! Most are clever, some are offensive, some are hilarious, some are stupid - just like the people of this world!
And some are more than one of those things.