losing games to my own bad play

thursday morning most games in to middle play losing in material some --some i have lost the game just waiting for the kill and some i have made my goal of 30 moves so about 50/50 i think at noon will play some more see what happens ---- one note is iam playing more games on defense than attacking so i can never get my game going --- i have to see why that happens more than not --watched a couple of games of others late last night -- every informative helped me understand that iam not the only one making stupid blunders and mistakes all over the place --

THURSDAY AFTERNOON- my play is bad a little rushed i think -- trying new opening for new games maybe will work maybe not ---- lost another game without getting to 30 moves -so that was bad - new games hopeful i will do better --

FRIDAY MORNING -- starting off with some bad karma form other things done late last night - so hoping for a up lift of sorts form chess --- lost one game this morning under 20 moves -will start two more maybe hoping better results - going back to original opening again

friday morning still above 500 at 505 in 24 hr games but just barely couple of games coming to close as losses so will drop i guess below hopefully they will make to 30 moves threat hold one maybe one for sure no and one yes

FRIDAY LATE AFTERNOON - lost two games started two games and both losses where over 30 moves so goal was accomplished- now i ready for Saturday morning --- going out tonight to bar ---special treat this is -- to see this big band play really its two horn bands one 7 piece one 8 piece that get together and have a giant jam and with six horns i really excited they use it as a fund raiser---- bst and chicago at it's best i hope maybe a earth wind fire tune or two tooo from what i hear --- very small bar only 100 seats so i have to get the bus out early to get there -not that far from my residence i want a seat front and centre i wishing -- i can have two beers tonight maybe shanties ginger ale added will make them last longer--got to stay as long as i am able -no meds till i get home

SATURDAY MORNING- lost a couple games yesterday and still went up to 519 from 505 -- how is this possible ???? is their some kind of system i am not aware of --- you lose your score goes down not up

started two new games today maybe that new open move will help

Probably you won some games by time out without noticing

Having spent 25 years teaching beginners, I've found that they begin to develop board vision when they solve simple exercises that highlight fundamental relationships between the pieces (Yuri Averbakh uses the term "contacts"). This study is an example: https://lichess.org/study/FGYHjNeZ.

thx for the info i will look more into this again thanks

sunday going very slowly by games are just plugin along also

monday morning not much to report - just pasted 30 moves in a couple more games haven't lost any games this morning so far some i am being pressed mind you -- but not out right losses

late monday afternoon - things have changed

looks like i will lose two games very soon out played and out thought from the first get go i think they where just toying with me for fun

on more game just went over 30 moves

then please don't read it and waste your time --it's for my consumption and document of travel in the chess world and only when i have a question i post other places so thanks for the input

wed morning -- started one more game two games about ready to resign but over 30 moves point anyways - so will see how boxed in my opponents gets me into

THURSDAY afternoon lost the ones games that is i thought i would - so started a couple more 24 hr games this late afternoon -- getting close to under 500 score again -- but will get a couple of games over the 30 moves thresh hold amongst the next couple of hours

now that i have gone over to 24 games i tired a couple of 3 min to see if i improved -- well that didn't happened lost all three games -- bing bang bong won't do that again too fast for me now -- 10 min games maybe will be next

now i am way under 500 in the 480 range now - so starting to slip i guess -- need to slow down and see the next move more lost my queen to soon in last game was doing well i thought in most games but now i see it was a illusion of my own making -- hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm depressing maybe i should go play spades for a while where i lose worse than this and it will when i come back feel better ---- ?????

That's good advice you just gave to yourself. Slow it down, dont hurry and carefully inspect whats attacking you and what you are attacking on the next move.

Yes he is.
At sub 2000 and especially sub 1000, learning an opening without understanding is completely wasted effort because you will stay in the opening at most 5-10 moves. 
First you work on tactics, then you work on positional principles.