Wives and girlfriends are two different categories. I don't think a wife would leave her husband because he introduced her to chess.
Mixing Wives or Girlfriends with Chess?
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Anecdotally, back in the 1980's a couple of friends and I noticed that when husbands and wifes are both OTB players, they seem to play often together in tournaments. That is, while the husband has a higher rating than the wife. When the wife's rating exceeds the husband's rating, the husband suddenly loses interest, "retires" from chess and is seldom seen at the chess club. Hmmm.
leave because he introduced her to Chess NO because he made fun of her moves yes
My wife and both my girlfriends love to play chess.
Sometimes we even play together in a four-hander. It's awesome.
What is this chess everyone on here keeps talking about?
mnag wrote:
Anecdotally, back in the 1980's a couple of friends and I noticed that when husbands and wifes are both OTB players, they seem to play often together in tournaments. That is, while the husband has a higher rating than the wife. When the wife's rating exceeds the husband's rating, the husband suddenly loses interest, "retires" from chess and is seldom seen at the chess club. Hmmm.
Very interesting. I was about to say something similar about more casual OTB play among my circle of family and friends... so long as the male players are the tutors and the stronger players, the two sexes can battle over the board for years on end.... rarely a rainy Friday evening in is ever boring in our family and circles. But once any of the females begin to play better than the men who taught them, the men suddenly want to play Poker.
Jul 22, 2009
0
#108
me and my wife quit playing each other ages ago...for 2 reasons .....1) if i beat her mercilessly she called me a cheat. And 2) if i let her win she said i was patronising her. geeeeezz
haha
LisaV wrote:
The male ego. Sigh.
Chess is a good barometer for you animals--I clobber my date/honeybunny:
1. He kisses me. OH MY GOD, a secure guy!
2. He pouts into the kitchen and drowns in a beer. RED FLAG, any more of that crap, DUMP DUMP DUMP (nicely of course).
3. He tries to hide his bruised ego. LET'S TOSS A FRISBEE INSTEAD. Hey, at least the guy is trying, no. Better than...
4. He plays you over and over and over until he can beat a girl. ROLL EYES, LET HIM WIN, ROLL HIM OUT THE DOOR (demand keys if needed).
:)
I... don't understand.
that's the female ego! a real life equivalent of 'Bogolyubov' !
If people rate and maintain their relationships with their partners based on their chess prowess then it's really sad. oh well to each his own I guess.
my wifey listens to me ramble about chess history, the latest in grandmaster drama (such as Ivanchuck's temper tantrum and refusal to pee for FIDE), and tid-bits of chess theory but when it comes to playing a game she flat out refuses "its boring" she says. as is life...thats why i come to chess.com everyday though :)
chess can be painful when you're losing... but sometimes love is pain and you can still enjoy it ;)
May 9, 2010
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#115
I and my husband have played a few blitz games in our first days of acquaintance, now don't play at all, only sometimes solve tactics together (to make it more competitive).
My wife doesn't even know how to set up the board. For a while I offered to teach her, thinking it could be fun to have a competitor handy at all times.
But, upon further review, it would probably go more like this...
I teach her to play, and, since I am at least minimally skilled at chess, I would beat her like a rented mule for months to years, until and unless she decided to study seriously. This would be no fun for me, less fun for her, and would significantly decrease my chances of mating off the board. 
I figure, if you mate your mate, you prolly wont get to mate. Got it mate?
May 10, 2010
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#117
I do play too often but no complaining.. No complete silence either. I put in a minimal effort not to appear completely autistic (according to some I fail) - and I wind up losing focus.
For me constraining myself is also about protecting my rating. I suck when there are people around :P.
I think it all depends how you see chess, if it is a way of proving your superiority over others (as Kasparov defined it once) then it is better not to play with your closest friends or with your love that game.
If you see it as a (silent) dialogue on highest level, where the outcome can be win or loss, but you give your best, then you are able to enjoy a good idea of your opponent as well, even if you did not see it yourself during the game. Then it can actually be very nice to play chess with your love.
Well chess is stressy, that element is added by the clock, you cannot eliminate it.
So many people play only 'light games' with their love (without clock, or if with clock, then just relaxing, or experimental/curious/daring games, but without ambition to win, or even to win by time).
Here's one idea on how to teach them without being condescending and creating restentments... never tell them what or what not to do; just tell them why you're doing everything you're doing. For example... "I'm opening with my king's pawn to gain control of the center of the board. I'm castling to protect my king." They can either listen to you or tune you out, which is pretty much like the rest of the relationship, so it's an easy transition. Oh and of course... compliments on the good moves they do make, regardless of whether they meant to make them or not.