I agree with everything you said.
Apsurd, indeed.
I'm disappointed there are no ponies, most of all.
Apparently his car is not big enough for all his mates to go roadtripping which has caused his rating to descend 650 points in less than a minute.
Well, at least we know that he knows kenpo.
I thought his title was referring to these:
I think it's spelled "pony." That's were fertilizer for the flowers comes from!
Funny, I actually always thought peonies were those big flappy things (the ones that look like huge fried eggs).