Bruh a stupid bet can't dictate whether you'll quit chess or not, that is absurd. You've been playing since you were a kid. Now it is another thing if you don't feel like you get anything out of it anymore, or if you simply don't enjoy the game. I am 23, started playing a bit in elementary, finished college now and began playing again. I've always been drawn back into the game, and know I simply just like learning this or that , say 1 fact I didn't know about something from the game. Maybe you are taking it too serious I dunno, but if the coward's words are getting to your head, why not just take a breather, and ask us for help to destroy said coward? Just a thought : )
Quitting Chess
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Nov 1, 2020
0
#3
Well it’s hard to really gauge anything without seeing any games you and that guy played. I looked on your lichess profile, and did not see anyone you repeatedly played the number of times you said the two of you played on lichess. Maybe the last time you played him was long ago...
That being said. All I can do is guess. But first, I just wanted to say you don’t need people like that in your life. Instead of quitting chess, just stop being his friend, and make new friends. He doesn’t seem like a nice guy to me.
That being said, as a chess player, no matter what, you will have conflict with the people you play with on a regular basis with people who have a big ego like the person you told us about. I once had a friend who had a big ego, and forced me to play at a time control he knew he would beat me more at, and probably lost my edge because of it because I didn’t improve for about 14 or so years, because I was play at a less optimum time control for my style of play and makeup. (Makeup only meaning I tend to take a lot of time to think OTB and best thrive in fast rapid games). What I did with the person was just let him talk and I gradually got better playing faster and he lost interest. But that doesn’t happen all the time. Sometimes, the bad person wins, like in your case.
That being said, there is another option. You could just agree with what he says. “Oh yeah I know your better than me, lets play another so I can learn!” Follow that format and just play. Who cares if he’s a doofus. Just let your game do the talking. And if you study like you said you do, eventually, he won’t like playing you anymore. ;)
I would venture to guess that you are like me, a slower player, when it comes to short blitz time controls without an increment. And if you play longer time controls, you tend to eat away at time you probably don’t really need to be. I’m also guessing your opponent is a “faster” player, and you have a hard time figuring out how to mate him and lose a lot with time when you could have won. It also sounds like the two of your make mutual blunders, which means, you guys are indeed playing blitz OTB. I recommend you play to your strengh, and play even OTB with rapid time controls if possible. If you guys are playing longer time controls then I do not know how two good players can make so many blunders in one game. Maybe it was a fluke. It happens, though not very often. Sometimes you lose a game because you castle too early. If you are playing the type that likes to wait for you to castle kingside so he can castle on the opposite side and do a cave man pawn storm, you will lose in this fashion every so often, but if you are playing a caveman player like this, then stuff like that doesn’t happen very often, if you are both good players. That style of play I believe is limited because it relys on the general principles of what usually happens when most players react to opposite side castling. Usually, lower rated players, don’t know how to defend against a pawn storm. What they fail to realize is that it’s not the side they are castling that is allowing them to win games, it’s just that they are playing bad players. A person of equal skill will be able to handle it.
That being said, that is just one example of losing big and pathetically. To get good at anything in life, you have to learn how to lose. You lost the 5 game match. I don’t think quitting chess is going to change that, nor do I believe losing this match is a testament to you not being any good at chess. The two of you are both good, and somewhat near skill level. He may be better at certain things, but you have more things that you are better at than him, so it seems. Your just young, and let a bit of overconfidence get the best of you this time. It happens. It happens to me a lot. And it will happen to me again. It will happen to you again. Such is life. All we can hope for is to learn from our mistakes, and not make a bigger one because of what happened.
That being said. All I can do is guess. But first, I just wanted to say you don’t need people like that in your life. Instead of quitting chess, just stop being his friend, and make new friends. He doesn’t seem like a nice guy to me.
That being said, as a chess player, no matter what, you will have conflict with the people you play with on a regular basis with people who have a big ego like the person you told us about. I once had a friend who had a big ego, and forced me to play at a time control he knew he would beat me more at, and probably lost my edge because of it because I didn’t improve for about 14 or so years, because I was play at a less optimum time control for my style of play and makeup. (Makeup only meaning I tend to take a lot of time to think OTB and best thrive in fast rapid games). What I did with the person was just let him talk and I gradually got better playing faster and he lost interest. But that doesn’t happen all the time. Sometimes, the bad person wins, like in your case.
That being said, there is another option. You could just agree with what he says. “Oh yeah I know your better than me, lets play another so I can learn!” Follow that format and just play. Who cares if he’s a doofus. Just let your game do the talking. And if you study like you said you do, eventually, he won’t like playing you anymore. ;)
I would venture to guess that you are like me, a slower player, when it comes to short blitz time controls without an increment. And if you play longer time controls, you tend to eat away at time you probably don’t really need to be. I’m also guessing your opponent is a “faster” player, and you have a hard time figuring out how to mate him and lose a lot with time when you could have won. It also sounds like the two of your make mutual blunders, which means, you guys are indeed playing blitz OTB. I recommend you play to your strengh, and play even OTB with rapid time controls if possible. If you guys are playing longer time controls then I do not know how two good players can make so many blunders in one game. Maybe it was a fluke. It happens, though not very often. Sometimes you lose a game because you castle too early. If you are playing the type that likes to wait for you to castle kingside so he can castle on the opposite side and do a cave man pawn storm, you will lose in this fashion every so often, but if you are playing a caveman player like this, then stuff like that doesn’t happen very often, if you are both good players. That style of play I believe is limited because it relys on the general principles of what usually happens when most players react to opposite side castling. Usually, lower rated players, don’t know how to defend against a pawn storm. What they fail to realize is that it’s not the side they are castling that is allowing them to win games, it’s just that they are playing bad players. A person of equal skill will be able to handle it.
That being said, that is just one example of losing big and pathetically. To get good at anything in life, you have to learn how to lose. You lost the 5 game match. I don’t think quitting chess is going to change that, nor do I believe losing this match is a testament to you not being any good at chess. The two of you are both good, and somewhat near skill level. He may be better at certain things, but you have more things that you are better at than him, so it seems. Your just young, and let a bit of overconfidence get the best of you this time. It happens. It happens to me a lot. And it will happen to me again. It will happen to you again. Such is life. All we can hope for is to learn from our mistakes, and not make a bigger one because of what happened.
Nov 1, 2020
0
#4
Just stop playing. There’s no sense in continuing with your current chessistential crisis. Maybe one day chess will call to you or maybe it won’t, but don’t make any definitive statements right now. There is still joy to be found in chess.
The player u mention sounds like they have a hood mentality. U should play other people. Definitely play slower games so u can think about what you've been studying during ur games. If u play blitz a lot u don't have time to think.
Nov 1, 2020
0
#6
Start by beIng honest with yourself, for the best of five series he truly was better than you. Next take a deep breath and continue living the rest of your life. It’s only five games of your chess experience. Learn from it and improve your game or don’t and quit for a time or forever. It’s a game. It is meant to bring you joy, if it no longer does that then by all means move on with your young life. i get beat all the time, nearly every day and i don’t like it. But hopefully, one day I’ll see a glimmer of improvement. If I don’t improve I’ll keep playing as long as it brings me a measure of joy. When it no longer brings me more joy than disappointment, I’ll move on to other pursuits. Simple really. Enjoy your journey with or without chess. You can.
Chess has been in my life for a very long time. My dad first told me as a kid if I could beat him he'd give me $100. I trained and always wanted to play. I had a Goal to strive for. Eventually I won and My chess slowly started to slow down from there. I started playing chess again seriously around my junior year of high school and started learning basic concepts of the game and have been developing my skills. I'm now 19 almost 20 and I've had a recent occurrence that's made me want to sadly quit the game of chess. A co-worker of mine started picking up the game again and persists that he's "better than I am" which I know isn't true. I've taught me a lot about what he knows in the game. Any time I beat him he uses excuses and states that he a "casual" player and doesn't even practice as much... saying I practice 24/7. However When he wins a game he acts like he's hot and claims to be better then me. When I try to explain to him that my rating in all aspects in higher and that on LIchess I've won 32 games to his 15 he doesn't want anything thing of it exclaiming that if I was better I'd "beat him every game" or "if you're better all the games you win go to end game, you should be able to beat me before that" He decided that he didn't want to argue with me about it anymore so he said lets play a best of 5. I accepted because I enjoy the game of chess but before I told myself if I lost I would never play the games of chess again. I won the first game and he left work and didn't play me for a week. I figured that it was off since this and when he came back to work the next week we started another game. After losing he exclaimed 1:1 and I was stunned to think he was still wanting to continue the tourney he left on. I then proceeded to lose one more game and I won the next. I still had the thought in the back of my mind that I would be quitting forever if I lost this next game. I stated off strong and won a piece off him in 6 moves. Eventually I blundered and ended up losing the game ( probably the worst game of chess I've ever played) now he's holding it over me that based off 5 games he's somehow now better than me. I really just want to quit because I feel like he past 3-4 years of study/playing the game constantly have been pointless and I haven't achieved anything form it. I understand that you learn more from your loses but this is just different, maybe I sound like a child but idk I've sat here reading this now many times and I just can't help but think I failed. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself as well, but this has really killed my fire for that game :/ I honestly don't know what to think and I would just like some advice from some of the community on this. ( decided to post this here since there's a bigger audience on chess.com), Either way if you choose so add my on LiChess Ronnoc2001 Yours truly Ronnoc