Why should I accept a draw?

Doess anyone else find it annoying when you take the opponent's queen  - where they put their own queen in jeopardy, not when you threaten it and politely type "en guarde" (which rude players always forget to type) - and then they request a draw?  I never accept the draw in this case because I don't feel that if the situation were reversed, they would accept my draw request.  Plus, I never ask for a draw unless it's the end game and the opponent just moves one piece back and forth, hoping to end the program with a repitition error.  The kid I played last game refused to move after I declined the draw request and I had to wait 6 minutes for the game to end.  I think chess.com should put a timer after a draw request so if the opponent refuses to move within 2 minutes, they automaticaly lose.  What do you all think???

Welcome to online chess.

Diakonia, My question is very serious, well thought out, and quite stupendous for a chess idiot like myself.  Therefore, I think it deserves a less flippant reply than "welcome to online chess"  What do you REALLY want, a trophy???

 

While i can appreicate your seriousness with the question, its still "welcome to online chess"

Its an unfortunate aspect of online chess.  You cant dictate, or demand that chess.com add a timer.  Its your opponents time, and they are allowed to use it as they see fit.  We all know that some abuse there time, we all know that some will just sit there and let the clock run out instead of resigning.  

Saying en garde or gardez la dame or whatever when you threaten someone's queen is something only chess noobs do, it's a sucky thing to do. 

You shouldn't accept the draw. Wait the six minutes if you have to -- do something else while you wait, if you have time. Then, after winning don't play them again, or at least don't be surprised if they do it to you again.

My dear fellow, do you have any grey poupon?

Play a simul if you are good enough

Online chess invites these kind of players and games and the sites don't care as long as the site gets clicks. Some sites are worse than others. I'm waiting for a site that is serious and had a player rating/trusted system.

This is the first time I hear about "en guarde", doesn't make much sense. And about the "2 minute wait after a draw offer auto resign", it is a stupid idea, what if I briefly lost connection? or saw an interesting move and started calculating deeper lines?

When I was a beginner, it was considered good manners to tell the opponent "I'm attacking your queen" - as beginner players typically would miss that. 

As one advances up the levels, people no longer say "Queen". People don't even say "check" anymore... it's considered a bit impolite (look how what is polite reverses, and the reasons for politeness/impoliteness change!) because it's like you're implying that they didn't see that their queen / king was under attack - now you're insulting them!! :-)

Once I started to become stronger, but still playing my old friends - I would sometimes get annoyed when they would tell me that my queen is attacked - I know that it was attacked. I left it that way for a reason that maybe you don't see... :-)

I've never heard of en guarde before and most people probably haven't which is why people don't type it. They aren't rude at all for not trying to tell you that your queen is under attack.

if they are taking too long just use the time to get another drink or go the privy

22 years ago I heard gardez

I've heard "gardez la dame" used a  few times over the years, it's always a rank beginner that does it trying to act like they're some kind of GM. They learned as a kiddie rule when they were like 10 or something. 

When you play a game you and your opponent are allocated a certain amount of time, and you can each use it as you see fit. It may be annoying for an opponent to use their time play on in a hopeless position, or simply to let their clock run down until they lose on time, but you implicitly agreed to those possibilities when you entered into a game at a particular time limit.

 

Annoying as it is to have to play out a crushing position, all you can do is use your advantage to finish them off quickly and efficiently, so as to discourage them from making a habit of playing on in lost positions in the hope of benefitting from stupid blunders.  It is easier to accept if you look on it as good practice in technique.

 

If anyone deliberately abandons an on-line game with me after falling into a very lost position I accept the point, then I block them.  There are enough well-behaved and pleasant people on chess.com that there is no need to have anything to do with these unpleasant characters.

 

Regarding draws, in OTB chess it is considered rude to propose a draw when you stand slightly worse, never mind a whole Queen down. Of course if someone is daft enough to offer a draw when they are lost you just refuse.  

 

Correct etiquette is to achieve a solid advantage, then propose a draw from a position of strength. A side benefit is that this puts more psychological pressure on the player in the weaker position to accept.

I would not be annoyed if someone requested a draw. It is, after all, their prerogative to do so. But I doubt I would accept it unless I thought it was a draw or there was some other special circumstances. 

 

As for people who do not move .... that is also their prerogative. It's not just online chess. It's welcome to chess. Your opponent is under no obligation to move. They can just sit there and let the clock run down until they lose. If this makes you angry you should find another game.

 

What a good idea.  A rating system that would indicate how "well behaved" players are so that we can avoid playing anyone that habitually offers draws after blundering, or habitually allows their time to run out  when they have a lot of it left, rather than resigning, or that abuses chat to insult or distract their opponent (and that last one is behaviour that is a clear breach of the rules of chess and would result in the tournament director awarding them a loss in an OTB tournament).

It is not permitted to speak to your opponent in an USCF tournament unless you are resigning or offering a draw. In casual games, particularly among beginners, it is common to announce check, although more experienced players rarely do so and may be insulted if you declare check. A few years ago, I played in an official tournament for the first time in 3 decades. During one of my games, I announced check, and my opponent warned me that I was not allowed to say check and further warned that he would call the director the next time I said check. When I won the game, I announced checkmate, and he gave me a nasty look but did not complain to the director. I swear I was not trying to rub it in but merely was acting on instinct.

You could of just said "you lose" :)