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sceneassassin
sceneassassin
May 13, 2008
0
#21

1. Over what period of time?

2. Which legs is the tiger missing? (Yes, this does make a huge difference)

3. Are you cheating on your taxes?

4. I speak the universal tongue of body language and the rest would depend on the currency exchange value of that particular country. I've lived most of my life on the ground and estimate that I will continue to do so for many years to come.

5. My personal life is personal for a reason.

 

Can I take BART to work? 


MapleDanish
NM MapleDanish
Staff
May 13, 2008
0
#22
erik wrote:

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

 - Depends which way I'm pushing.

- The chimp.

- which one?

- 1

- Male or female? 


DPG1232
DPG1232
May 17, 2008
0
#23
Ok so whats after that?
erik
erik
Staff
May 17, 2008
0
#24
then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.
fluffy_rabbit
fluffy_rabbit
May 17, 2008
0
#25
erik wrote:then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

 That might have happened to me once... only, I also started a club where people could fight each other. Don't remember what the club was called though


DPG1232
DPG1232
May 30, 2008
0
#26
erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?


erik
erik
Staff
May 30, 2008
0
#27
DPG1232 wrote: erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?

 then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!


MapleDanish
NM MapleDanish
Staff
May 30, 2008
0
#28
Lol right on!  Go erik!
likesforests
likesforests
May 30, 2008
0
#29

erik> then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!

Don't despair--this is but another test. In days of yore, before initiates could enter a Zen temple, they had to wait at the gate for a day, a week, or more to prove their dedication. Some still practice it to this day, as does chess.com HQ. Once Erik finally admits you, you'll find couches, snack machines, and soda machines--you'll never have to leave. Which is just as well, since getting readmitted is even harder.


Maradonna
Maradonna
Show your flair!
May 30, 2008
0
#30

I'm lazy and don't like work. Can I sleep in your basement and eat out your bin? How do I qualify?


DPG1232
DPG1232
May 31, 2008
0
#31
erik wrote: DPG1232 wrote: erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?

 then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!

lol


JRadis
JRadis
Jun 2, 2008
0
#32

If I´m you... I don´t need to ask for a part of the staff... I own this shit! Cool

Oh man everybody who has beeten me here will pay... xD


timmaylivinalie
timmaylivinalie
Jun 2, 2008
0
#33
erik wrote:

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

 i've a couple deeper questions than the one posted above. 1. can you go public with chess.com and put it on the NYSX or sumthin? i've managed to save up like 40 bucks!!! over the past three years so..2. can you make it so there's 79 shares at $1 a pop so i can buy 40 of'em and be majority share-holder?


arisser
arisser
Jun 2, 2008
0
#34
erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

 More importantly.  If Tyler Durden played himself in chess, who would win?


JRadis
JRadis
Jun 2, 2008
0
#35

This is not a normal site this is chess.com and if you want to join the staff here you have to be something special. (answering for you erik since I´ve understud after many hours of waiting that I am you)


last_file
last_file
Jun 2, 2008
0
#36
erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. 

 ROFL

Only if you promise to come out and hit me with a broom every hour on the hour. 


erik
erik
Staff
Jun 2, 2008
0
#37
you are not your khaki pants.
JRadis
JRadis
Jun 2, 2008
0
#38
erik wrote: you are not your khaki pants.

? Don´t understand...

Meee=Stupid?

( I know I am stupid but more or less than the average chess.com member?)


last_file
last_file
Jun 3, 2008
0
#39
JRadis wrote: erik wrote: you are not your khaki pants.

? Don´t understand...

Meee=Stupid?

( I know I am stupid but more or less than the average chess.com member?)

Erik's referring to the movie Fight Club.


DPG1232
DPG1232
Jun 14, 2008
0
#40
Erik, can you notify me if you are hiring?