1000 reasons you're not a grandmaster

21. I gave my chess set to my dog for him to play with

22. My dog beat me at chess.

23. I managed to lose to a computer which plays the worst possible move in every position.

24. After Magnus Carlson (the imposter) quit his job I hired a tree as my chess coach.

25. I call my pawns "prawns"

At least prawneatsprawn will be happy.

26. I play the Bongcloud opening

27. I believe that Lenny Bongcloud is the best chess player in the universe.

28. I believe that Lenny Bongcloud is REAL

29. The greatest chess games ever all feature me playing.

I'm just playing on the losing side.

30. I like to enter chess tournaments under the name N.N.

21.Because im a super GM

32. I'm high everytime I play

33. Australia sucks in general

34. Chess sets that ship to Australia from the U.S. costs $274 with shipping alone

(Sad but true)

36. I can't count

I'm not Russian.

oops :P

lol

37. I have alzheimers

38. I am a noob