I happened to be in The Secret of Chess thread when all of a sudden a moderator burst through the door, threw me against the wall and read me my rights! Something about getting more tactics lessons if I buy a premium membership. I declined and then moderator locked the thread - with me in it!
Help! I'm Locked in The Secret of Chess and I Can't Get Out!
Sort:
Fortunately, I always carry my Swiss army knife and P-38. There's no locked thread that can hold me!
Man, this site is serious about those premium memberships! If Lyudmil Tsvetkov knew that, he would've bought one - and made a donation to the moderator's ball. But he didn't and they locked his thread.
Oh I know what you're thinking. "Bloggs, how could they lock his thread just because he didn't buy a premium membership?" Good question. That wasn't the stated reason they locked it. The stated reason was that the thread was in the Chess Books & Equipment forum area instead of the Off Topic area.
"Wait a minute, Bloggs! Isn't The Secret of Chess a chess book?" Of course it is. But around here a book is only a book if the moderator says it's a book. That's why a donation to the moderator's ball is advised.
"But Bloggs, why didn't the moderator simply move the thread to the Off Topic area?" Will you pay attention!? Does moderator's ball ring a bell?
Well, Fred Bloggs is more savvy than Lyudmil Tsvetkov. I've placed this thread in the Off Topic area. What are they going to do? Lock it for not being in the Game Showcase area?
Actually, I probably shouldn't have said that. I don't want to give them any ideas.
Feb 26, 2018
0
#10
This thread is locked for being off off topic.
Signed
The everything in moderation bunny
Feb 26, 2018
0
#11
And for rambling to yourself like qbonzo.
Signed
The break his own rules what the heck bunny
Feb 26, 2018
0
#12
And for not having enough color in your posts
Signed
The not impersonating a mod bunny
president_max wrote:
This thread is locked for being off off topic.
Signed
The everything in moderation bunny
These bunnies are worse than the moderators.
president_max wrote:
And for rambling to yourself like qbonzo.
Signed
The break his own rules what the heck bunny
There's a method to my madness. Many posts attract attention. Obviously it works. 
president_max wrote:
And for not having enough color in your posts
Signed
The not impersonating a mod bunny
I'm the main commentator. You're the color commentator.
Lyudmil is going to be livid when he finds out they locked his thread. I hope he doesn't come here. I get nervous when he swears in Bulgarian. That's when he starts throwing stuff. And I just set up the schrank. If he touches my Michael Garmans, he'll wish he had gone after my wife's Hummels instead. You don't mess with a man's Garmans!
Well, if he does drop by, he's going to find out that there's a new thread dictator in town. And this one runs a tight thread. No running in the halls. No gum chewing. And no posting games allegedly played against weak chess engines (you know, like Stockfish).
Oh yeah, I almost forgot! No on-topic discussions are permitted. If those moderators see an on-topic discussion in an Off Topic area thread, they'll lock it in a New York minute. Well, not if the OP is a premium member of course but this one isn't.
"Bloggs, why not just fork over five bucks a month for a premium membership? Then the mods will look the other way and leave your thread alone." Sure, they'll let me get away with murder if I grease their palms but come on. I don't need more than five tactics problems a day. I'm so burned out after five of them, I need to take a two-hour nap to recuperate.
Well, that was rude!