Le Story of sὂvιἓͲ ȑμȿȿἶÆ, Season 3 Episode 1

Le Story of ร๏שเєՇ гยรรเค
SEASON 3 EPISODE 1
 
Author’s Note
Yo it’s been a long time since I made one of these so I might have forgotten some fan characters or plot holes that need filling so please help me with this lol
And a disclaimer: Yes I know and acknowledge the fact that there’s a lot going on with Russia right now that’s not so pleasant and this book series is not glorifying the communist era of Soviet Russia but a fun parody set in another dimension where many political problems are solved.
Also yes hyper gave me permission to continue the series
And yes the writing style changes in the middle because hyper had this draft so i finished it.
Alright I forgot how to start these lol so Ima just get on with it
Good luck
Have fun
Prologue
            Location: The Underworld
            FBI walked alongside Body Pillow. They both had a spot in heaven up above, but as his self-appointed role as a guide, Body Pillow was introducing all parts of the Afterlife to FBI. All around them, flames crackled and smoke rose in the moist air. Up ahead, ghastly howls could be heard from the bottom of the largest cliff FBI had ever seen.
            “This is the Canyon of Tartarus,” Body Pillow explained. “It’s where the demons who were evil in their life get sent to. But don’t worry. Most of them either can’t climb up the cliff or if they can fly, they always have their wings buckled in a tetrasteel bond.
            FBI and Body Pillow walked past some guards and looked below. All around, he could see evil creatures attempting to scramble up the cliff or engages in a scuffle with others. The massive expanse reached out to farther than he could see, and it made sense to him, as he thought about the number of evil organisms in the universe.
            “You know there’s an even deeper part of the Underworld?” Body Pillow whispered.
            “Where’s that?”
            “It’s called the Void. It’s where the evilest of evil is kept. Old folklore states that it’s an entirely different realm where there is no light and no sound. It’s where they trapped the æians, back in the ancient times.”
            FBI scrunched his face up, thinking about his friend Sheldon, who was an æian (but not a bad one). Suddenly, a bunch of guards ran past him and Body Pillow. Sirens blared.
            “Why are they in such a rush?” FBI asked.
            “Recently, there’s been… issues around this place.” Body Pillow answered. “They’re probably heading over to the Void Gate, the only entrance and exit to the Void. There’s been rumors that the æians are stirring recently. In fact, the officials think it’s such a problem that they sent the current Burst Harnessers, including the new guy.”
            FBI was overjoyed to hear of his friends.
            “Can we go see them?” He pleaded.
            “I don’t think so, that’s in a heavily restricted area and we don’t wanna get our Heaven perms taken away.” Body Pillow sighed. To distract FBI from thinking about the Void too much, he continued. “Did you know when I was alive I was a burst harnesser myself?”
            “Yo WHAT?? FOR REAL??”
            “Yeah. I knew the older current ones, Mort and Zodiac. In my time, there were five of us. Me, the Ultimate Elementalist, Mort, the Sorcerer, Zodiac, the Summoner, the Guardian who went missing, and the First Burst Harnesser, Gyyjhhi, the Mother Tree. Both me and Gyyjhhi died in the Battle of Tetron, where we managed to trap the æians in the Void.”
            Suddenly, a tremor in the ground unbalanced everyone. Right after, there was an explosion in the direction of the Void Gate. Tendrils of – FBI struggled to describe it – nothingness wrapped around rocks and buildings.
            “What is that??” FBI shouted.
            Body Pillow’s face blanched. FBI could hardly think of anything that could make a former Burst Harnesser afraid.
            “That can only be…” Body Pillow stuttered… “T-the Voidbeing…”
 
Saturday 2:10 pm
            A car drove by, hit a curb, and exploded. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone inside. That’s cause I was in a simulation. The AlterWorld, Bubgi called it. It was his invention. It was supposed to be an alternate reality where you can train without the fear of accidently destroying anything you don’t want to. It’s also multiplayer, so you can spar with your friends there too, without suffering any damage in real life. Some hardcore grinders like JM and Dubynin or even Lenin wanted “pain receptors so it’s more realistic” but to be honest that’s a bad idea.
            I fired a shot at a building and it crumbled down, smashing a few cars. I activated my AlterAssistant screen (supposed to mimic my Mind Assistant, except everyone has it in the AlterWorld) and activated the exit button.
            There was a rush of cold air as I stepped out of the SimSuit, which channels our movements in the AlterWorld.
            “Is it better this time?” Bubgi asked.
            “Yeah, it’s much more polished, and I like the fact that you disabled the SimCivilians. They’re really annoying,” I supplied.
            “Thanks. I’ll continue working on it.”
            If you’re wondering how Bubgi is now a lead scientist at the United Soviet Science Regiment (USSR), we continued to interrogate him after the battle, and he supplied overlapping answers. It all came back to his origin story, where he’s standing in the line for pizza. He said he heard someone whisper in his mind, “take the pizza you noooob looooooool”.
            He tried to resist it but the mysterious entity filled his mind with rage, anger, and vengeance. Apparently the entity had escaped when I confronted him. It all seemed sketchy and sus but since I’m part neuromancer, I was able to tell he was saying the truth. It turned out he was a phenom philosopher as a kid but it all went to waste when he got jailed. Now he’s helping us upgrade our grand nation.
            Oh, yeah, and also: I haven’t logged one of these mind entries in a really long time, so I’ll give you a recap.
 
Saturday 2:50 pm
            So anyway, after the big fight, now known as the Battle of IAGA, we had to accommodate for the refugees. Bob, who recently upgraded to the new class of Godbridger, speedily built them a town to live in, right next to the main city of Moscow. The random guy who fell from Thirst Man’s corpse was kept in a chemical vat to preserve his body, as we figured out that he must be of some form of importance because he was tied to Thirst Man and the evil shadowy guy.
            But then one day, he broke out and continued to wreak havoc on the city in a confused rage until Florida and the 69th platoon managed to secure him in Tetrasteel bonds. We recently discovered a new substance called Tetrasteel on the distant nebula of Tetron, which is supposedly stronger than Chromesteel. Cat Joot got an upgrade when he accidently ate a piece of it, and his Ult changed from Chromesteel Claws to the even stronger Tetrasteel Tail.
Anyways, back to the random guy. Turns out, he was my lost brother Irst An, and he was taken under personal custody of the current President, Rasputin (Ghjkl was at work somewhere else). He managed to convince everyone he was brainwashed to do evil, by the Dark Shadowy Guy. But we also got something even more interesting from him. Not only was he influenced by the Dark Shadowy Guy, he also recalled his vision turning red and feeling an endless amount of rage, which matched Bubgi’s description of his own turn. The mysterious entity was then taken to a higher focus by the government. Igor thought it was one of an unknown Neurii subspecies, and other people also had their own theories. Currently, he’s allowed to roam around the city without bonds, but he has to be accompanied by guards.
Also, there’s been a lot of class upgrades since I last documented one of these. For example, recently a mining expedition to the Dusk Realm collected a few Shadow Orbs so we were able to upgrade Florida Man from a ghoul into a wraith, which was supposedly a really OP class with a lot more abilities. Also, Grassputin, Rasputin’s son, evolved from a Floramancer into a Child Tree, which personally I think is a dumb name for a class and he gained literally no buffs, stat boosts, abilities, no nothing from his class upgrade. The Soviet council seemed to have belief in him, but for now, his long-awaited transformation is kind of a disappointment.
And some more class upgrades:
Pavel: Sniper -> Aimbot
Random Dude: Random -> Relevant
Bob: Speedbuilder -> Godbridger
Dubynin: Phaser -> Quantum Mage
            A ton of stuff happened during that busy time, so I can’t cover it all here. Overall, the nation got giant upgrades and improvements. The arrival of strong new allies inspired the people of the Soviet nation. The nation was actually in its developing stage when I last visited it; now it’s filled with the newest advanced technology, skyscrapers, and more. We’ve also secured a political tie with China, and tomorrow me and a few other representatives are gonna go there to discuss boring politics.
            As for me I’ve been on the grind. The presence of the evil shadow guy would be a looming threat, and everyone has been working their hardest to get stronger. In my spare time, I would just teleport to boss planets and farm boss fights. The top architects and construction men, including Bob, who built the IAGA themselves had lent a hand in building the nation. There’s now a giant Soviet Headquarters right in the middle of Mosscow, the capital.
            Anyway, I’m gonna go do something else now so that’s it for the updates.
Saturday 3:30 pm
            Me and the other boys were planning on sneaking back to the ruins of the IAGA to see if we could scavenge anything of value, but they were too tired from last night’s training so I’m just going to go by myself.
            The Universal Police Department had put teleport restrictions there, and a bunch of guards there too. It was considered a “off limits hostile environment”. But it wasn’t that big of a deal because I used my Mind Assistant to hack their teleport settings.
            I tp’d there, behind a large rock so they couldn’t see me. The place still smelled like the 🅱obux I had given away during the Battle of IAGA. I wept for a bit for my lost 🅱obux. My eyes locked onto the vast open lot where the IAGA once stood. I figured I could trace where the IAGA Robot went by using my learned skills of the Hunter class, who are skilled navigators and trackers. I tp’d there, made a quick Track Lock, and tp’d back to my hiding spot quickly.
            Footprint icons popped up in my Mind Screen, and a Destination cursor appeared. I reached the destination in a series of quick teleports. It was a barren, deserted planet with no signs of life.
            Oh, never mind.
            The mountain of sand and rocks in front of me exploded and a Dune Devil, a very strong boss mob which I’ve gotten into fights with before, popped out. It was a giant serpent like creature with no head, but rather a gaping hole filled with teeth on one side.
            Red warning lights flashed on my Mind Screen.
            “MENACE TIER MOB ALERT, MENACE TIER MOB ALERT,” my Mind Assistant blared.
            I dismissed the messages and took out my most trusted weapon of all time, the 🅱obuxinator. It was a sword-type weapon made of an unknown material that Irst An dropped when the evil shadowy guy un-possessed him. Goose and Bob enchanted it so that for every enemy killed by it, the user is rewarded a number of 🅱obux depending on the enemy’s power level.
            After killing the Dune Devil, I looked at the mind assistant again. Apparently I had notifications on my Sovietphone9000, so I checked and it was mostly just Weapons Expert sending out announcements about the new AK-Barretts, Golden Gatling Guns, and they were also planning on making the 🅱obuxinator into a gun to commercially produce. Although one of the notifications caught my eye.
 
Floridaman69420

Hey guys yall wanna meet up in a few hours

Bobthebuilder

I’m down :D

UntitledGooseGame

Okay, we can rendezvous at my lab and we can decide where we want to go

    I smiled internally and remembered my days at IAGA, before I found out that it was a giant hidden lab by some evil dudes. It was a great time. I used a series of teleports to go back to Goose’s lab, and we were all waiting outside

“OPEN THE HECK UP GOOSE, WE’RE HERE!!!” Florida screeched. The war definitely took a toll on him but he got back to his normal self, wearing aloha shirts and killing crocodiles bare-handed. Bob was scarred, but his recent ascension got his confidence up. Goose opened the door. He was still a goose, except the mech he piloted had lots of damage on it. Sadge.

“Ok guys, where do you want to go?” Goose said. He was wearing a little backpack with a bunch of food and a first aid kit in it.

“I have an idea!” I said. “Maybe we could have a contest on who can visit the most world landmarks in 10 minutes”

“Okay…” Bob said. He was unsure about visiting world landmarks, as he didnt want to break international laws OR get his ass handed to him in this competition.

“AIGHT BET BITCH IM GONNA WIN THIS SHIT” Florida said loudly. He was very confident. We started, and in a quick series of teleports I was able to visit 2 landmarks in 1 second. This was good progress.

In the end, it was me who won and Bob who lost. I was able to visit 9821 while Bob was able to visit 102. Florida got 8912 and Goose got 923.

We went back to the lab and had a good old time, telling each other deez nuts jokes while drinking NON ALCOHOLIC beer. It reminded me so much of my early years it just hurt me a little, but I tried not to show it.

Saturday 2:20 PM, Canyon of Tartarus

The Voidbeing wrapped its slimy appendages of nothingness around many of the pillars that surrounded the canyon, breaking the invisible wall formed by them. They let out screams of pain before being snapped in half. It dragged itself out of the void, taking some of the æians with it. They started wreaking havoc and shredding the guards like pigeons in an airplane turbine. The Voidbeing was made of all the æians' hate, coalesced into a semi-physical form over the span of 69420694206942069420 years. FBI watched as Body Pillow started walking backwards, preparing to run.
"There is nothing to fear comrades" a voice came from behind them. The source of the voice was a brigade of fruits armed with 🅱obuxinators. The leader was an orange, with dead eyes and thin limbs in contrast to his round body. His name was Orang Min. 
He was the first to jump forward towards the Voidbeing. He repeatedly sliced off all the tentacles, as fast as they regrew. He landed on the other side of the canyon after slicing off a part of its scalp. The rest of the fruits followed, some slicing off tentacles and pushing æians back into the void. The better fighters were slicing off parts of the head, slowly peeling away at it like a grapefruit. Eventually, they had gotten to the important part. With it's skin gone, the Voidbeing had its brain, a large mass of black bulbs, exposed.
"Open fire!" One of the fruits called out. A platoon of fruits put a shell into a fancy looking cannon and fired it at the brain. The Voidbeing let out a screech before sinking back into the void.
"We did it, Sergeant Orang!" An apple yelled from the side.
"Well done team, we've vanquished the Voidbeing once more." Orang Min announced. He was only up to FBI's knees, but his presence was commanding and intimidating.
"I still don't know how you fearlessly face that abomination when it could kill you at any moment…" Body Pillow said, slow clapping while walking towards Orang Min. 
"We've faced worse." Orang Min stated, matter-of-factly.
"The æians, correct?" FBI said, putting his hand on his chin in contemplation. "The battle ended on December 98th in the year -6309 if I remember correctly."
"I guess your parents weren't exaggerating when they said you remember everything you hear or read…" Orang Min started. FBI was clearly starting to get nervous. "Your old man showed me so many of those hologram recordings of you tripping over your own vertices when you were but a little tetrahedron…" FBI's face turned redder than his 'skin' normally was.
"I see, there's no point in hiding it anymore." FBI said. He stretched out his arms and looked up at the sky. He chanted some mantra and a bunch of purple cubes of crackling electricity formed and started encircling him, flattening out and turning into a dome. It slowly started to spin faster until around the minute mark, they dissipated and revealed FBI's true body. He was a purple dodecahedron with strange runes carved into each side. Orbiting him was a light purple cubic frame. He was now one and a half times as tall as Body Pillow and towered over Orang Min.
"Ah yes, that reminds me of the time that he brought you to visit me, and you would keep tumbling down the stairs because at the time you still couldn't fly-" Orang tried to say.
"I would prefer you don't speak of that." FBI's disembodied voice said. In his true form, his voice sounded like he had applied every filter in Voicemod at the same time. He then turned back because he still had to get back used to being a floating dodecahedron.
"Oh, there was also his emo phase where he dunked his entire body in a giant bucket of black paint and it all started dripping off-"
"Have I told you about how adorable Mort was as a baby? He tried to climb every tree ever-"
FBI ran away. He didn't have the energy for this shit.
—
"Hey guys, why don't we go ransack the ruins of IAGA?" Sheldon asked. He knew the others wanted their things back. Florida's 4-foot long alligator skull, Bob's unfinished blueprints, and 4206942069 🅱obux worth of Chromesteel formerly belonging to Goose. Sheldon also wanted his  🅱obux back. The 🅱obuxinator couldn't make up that much 🅱obux.
    “YÊÆH BR0, TH@Tẞ Å R3ÆLLY GRÆT ÏDÈ !!!!1!!1!1!1¡¡" Florida said. Judging by his tone, he was definitely excited.
"That legitimately sounds horrible…" Goose said, brain going into full logic mode. "We should all take measures to ensure that we don't get caught. For example, we could shapeshift so that we won't be recognizable if they caught us, and Bob could speedbuild us some cloaks that make us invisible…"
"bRO that's YOUR area of expertise!" Bob protested.
"Okay, Florida will use his wraith powers to quietly retrieve all of the things while the others stand watch-"
"HÊLL ÑÃH¡¡!!¡¡" The rest of the gang protested in unison. Florida seemed on board with this plan though.
—
Eventually, they had all settled on a plan. Sheldon used his mind assistant to remove the teleport barriers on the ruins of IAGA. Florida then gathered them all up in a shadow and used his wraith powers to slither through the locked gates as a shadow snake. He exited his snake form behind the last gate, in the main hallways of the IAGA.
"Okay guys" Florida whispered. "The rest of this place is unlocked, let's go ransack this joint…"
They all split up to see what they could find.
—
Sheldon was walking through his old advanced advanced advanced combat class, looking around the dojo for anything of value. There was nothing there, but he still sat there in silence. He felt something… off.
"Whoever you are, show yourself! There's no point in hiding!" Sheldon spoke fiercely. A robot crawled out from behind a piece of rock. It was a small robot about the size of a basketball with 3 of a cube for a head and 3 armored legs coming out from it. As Sheldon approached it. The robot shrieked in fear and compacted itself into a tiny cube. Sheldon picked it up, seeing that it somehow had feelings. He used his neuromancer skills to see into its mind, and was surprised when he picked up lots of trauma and grief from it.
"It's okay, I won't hurt you…" Sheldon said, gently stroking its exterior. It was funny how Sheldon could go from fierce and unfriendly to being like a saint in the timespan of 5.55555 milliseconds. The small robot opened its shell a little, still quivering in fear, but it opened up fully. Apparently, it was originally built by the evil scientists of IAGA, but it wasn't evil enough for their uses, so they exposed it to horrible images of gore and violence, and forced it to torture war prisoners, the like. Sheldon put it in his bag and continued on his way.
—
            Florida walked through the hallways. He looked around, and entered a room. He saw the potato yeeter, one of their former projects he did with his friends. He also found his alligator skull, which was convenient, but why would someone take his alligator skull, and put it on the potato yeeter? He reached out to grab it, but the potato yeeter then pulled down its flinging arm so hard that Florida's arm from the elbow down flew right off. Florida winced in pain. He turned into a shadow and sank into the ground beneath, snaking back and forth in the ground. Florida could heal his injuries just by being in a dimly lit place, so he went to find some more junk.
—

            Bob and Goose were travelling as one unit, since they weren't very physically strong. They were going back to room P00-PY to see if something was being schemed there. They found something really weird.
            "L-LIGMA?!" The two evolved beings remarked. They had wondered where Ligma; strongest warrior of the pumpkin planet, had gone. Turns out, he was right here.
            "Yes. I am here, as I have resided in this room for many years as of now." Ligma said. "Rejoice, for our fates to have met once again!" 
—

Sheldon was waiting for everyone else, playing some weird game on his phone, when he suddenly was hit with a wave of unparalleled sleepiness. He slouched to the ground, already deep asleep.
"Hey." A voice called from the black void. The place was completely black with no visible floor, but there was one, and it seemed unrealistically smooth. There was an orange circle in the distance. The voice seemed to be coming from there.
"Who are you and where did you take me?!" Sheldon shouted. He was already going through the options.
"The afterlife people wanted me to tell you that a good friend of yours is in the respawn queue." It pulled a sheet of paper out from behind its back. "FBI, Age 19, 69420th in line, expect him back in about a month or so."
“YO WHAT????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!” Sheldon said. He was instantly very excited.

Yeah, sorry it was short (and cringe) but the rest of the issues will be a bit longer if i can...

pog