kaynight wrote:
Ach...it's a muckle scunner.
Many a muckle, maks a mickle.
Little Tiger, Belching Dragon
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Still no hamsters..:(
It's fathamstigrrr! 
One head for eating, one head for talking. Truly, a two-faced dragon.
Yes, everybody likes a happy ending.
Apr 14, 2016
0
#11
lol you mad git , this is hilarious , poor jamie , loved erik the unready ,
ANOK1 wrote:
lol you mad git , this is hilarious , poor jamie , loved erik the unready ,
It's just a silly story about a demented old dragon who makes people's lives a misery. Why do you think that has anything to do with Jamie?
bunicula wrote:
i feel globally warmed after reading this.
Always nice to have one's globes warmed.
Apr 14, 2016
0
#15
TheChairmaker wrote:
bunicula wrote:
i feel globally warmed after reading this.
Always nice to have one's globes warmed.
on a totally unrelated note, singapore's former premier wanted air-conditioned underwear.
http://www.thinkcentre.org/article.php?id=901
Other times news judgment can appear downright wacky. In early 1999, Lee Kuan Yew wished to The Wall Street Journal that someone would invent air-conditioned underwear – because that way "everyone can then work at his optimum temperature and civilisation can spread across all climates".
A news editor on a mainstream Australian newspaper might hand the item to a wry columnist. The medical writer might consult some physicians as to whether the nation was in good hands. And the science writer might ring boffins to see if boreal boxers were possible.
Not at the ST, which ran it as a straight story on page one. A month later, it published a 1455-word feature quoting local academics and engineers hot for the idea – with an illustration of how a "cold suit" might work.
Another Tale By Hans UnChristian Chairmaker
Hello, boys and girls. Are you sitting comfortably? No? Well, tough, because I'm going to begin anyway.
In the magical kingdom of Chessland their lived a dragon, a foul, fire-breathing creature named Dragonosa. This beast lived on Mount Socal, across the Great Pond. Every day Dragonosa would guzzle great vats of oil, to fuel its flame and quench its thirst. Then it would climb to the summit of Mount Socal and spray fire and smoke across the sky, and bellow its opinions on all manner of subjects, such as the best way to make a taco or how its hero Robert the Fisher was the greatest chesser in history. So the skies above Chessland filled with black clouds and noxious fumes, and all that could be heard across the kingdom was the sound of Dragonosa pontificating on the evils of taxation, and how the leprechaun O'Bama was really a Moslem.
As time went on the good folks of Chessland grew weary of the smoke and the constant noise from Dragonosa. A few brave souls even ventured to offer points of view which opposed the dragon, but were soundly browbeaten with such terms as "ignoramus" and "knucklehead". If they dared to answer back further, they were mercilessly flamed by Dragonosa, who would then claim that it had done no such thing and in fact it was the other party who had been abusing it.
One day there stepped forward a learned scholar from the Bridge of Oxen, one Elrock the Brainy, who knew everthing from the capital of Johannesburg to the square root of a rhombus. "All this smoke and cabon dioxide is polluting our kingdom! It is accumulating, and will cause Chessland to heat up to unnatural levels!"
"Nonsense," replied Dragonosa. "There is no evidence that CO2 causes warming, it's just part of a natural cycle whereby the inhabitants of Chessland get heated about V3 being terrible or the persistent problem of cheats and trolls." And then blasted Elrock the Brainy with a burst of unburnt hydrocarbons and semi-automatic gunfire.
Following this outburst, King Erik the Still Unready for V3 declared that Dragonosa must be muzzled, and in response it retreated to its cave in a big theatrical sulk. And all its minions wailed and gnashed their teeth, and shouted that it should have the muzzle removed so it could return to Chessland, until King Erik finally relented and allowed Dragonosa back out into the open.
When news spread of the scholar's immolation, there was great disquiet among the chattering folk, and there stepped forward a young she-warrior, Little Tiger, a friend of Elrock's. She vowed to avenge her mentor, and set off to Mount Socal to have it out with the dragon.
When she arrived, Dragonosa was preparing a light lunch of parboiled sandbaggers, and expounding on how Ronald the Barbarian had single-handedly defeated the Russkie-ites, using his space-based ray-gun system (although it never really worked, and was a bit of an international laughing stock, rather like "Ray-gun" Ronald himself).
"Hey, you!" Cried Little Tiger. "You've attacked my friends, just because they disagreed with you! You never listen to anyone else and think you're always right! And Elrock was right, you are ruining Chessland with your noxious emissions and foul opinions!"
"You are too young to know anything", snorted Dragonosa derisively. "You don't have my education and erudition. And you should not be speaking to me like that unless you want to be added to my "list". "
"I don't care about that! I'm here to avenge my friends and free Chessland from a great Reign of Tedium!" Shouted Little Tiger, and with that pulled out her battleaxe and cut off Dragonosa's head.
"Actually, it's a halberd, not a battleaxe," said Dragonosa's severed head, as it could not miss an opportunity to display its superior knowledge even after death.
"And Paul McCan't Sing was the most creative member of the Beat Less, and his solo work is criminally underrated...." And so Dragonosa's severed head continued to opine, as Little Tiger turned and headed back to her home across the Great Pond.
The End