Why struggling? I'll play you if you like sa. How about just relaxing my friend ?
nirvana & meditation
Blame it, on my Own 'warped' world-view, if-you-want..{it's Really Not!} - But, since I consider myself one, who has accepted 'the-Way-things-Really-Are - In both a 3- dimensional sense, and beyond, as in the referenced Scripture passage, that begins -'For we battle Not, against 'flesh-and-blood' etc. ..{the rest of it depicting invisible, if higher-dimensional, 'Good-vs. Evil' spiritual warfare}.. Which, by that verse alone- Implies an ongoing 'spiritual' warfare; That impacts Everyone, on our 'physical plane' {of existence}.. whether they're aware of it, or not! -
.. That personally accepted 'morsel-of-Truth' {if-you-will}; Along with my belief, that 'JC' was, who He claimed to be; Makes me, {or similarly believing 'saints'}; A Bigger target, for 'our adversary' {the demonic realm}; Than someone like yourself.. {no offense} - Who is {ahem} - Semi-clueless - And, {not surprisingly}.. Is pre-disposed, to share & sub-conciously, inclined to spread - That {ahem} - circa, 50% false belief system .. Repeatedly denying, Any Supernatural aspect, to Reality.
If, it's any consolation 'Tom' - I'd be doing pretty much, the exact same thing - Were I to have 'walked-in-your-shoes' - Experiential wise! [ :
'Tom'.. I know you're married - But, I think I just located {on the web} - What must be, one of your fellow 'soul-in-journey's travel - Platonic sisters! [ ;

ah. Well I sure don't believe in deliberate. Not as I accept free will doesn't exist and in fact not even the self.
Perhaps it might be helpful to examine why you feel that way .
We All have different 'Coping Mechanisms' - And, 'Tom's way of dealing-with-Life - 'Sfaik'.. Is of the mid-subtle range ..{ie. he's obviously Not taking out his 'Rage' on anyone.. nor does he apparently possess it}.
Which oddly.. Even the {holy} Bible alludes to - If, exclusively.. from a Divine {or Divinely assisted}, faith perspective.
'Calling those things which are Not - As though, they were.' ..{Romans 4:17 'KJV'}.
Tom wtites:
Well meditation isn't a combination of people .
What? ?? Please explain what in the heck this means.
In-the-Spirit of: "Giving credit - Where credit is due"!
"Being happy - Doesn't mean everything is perfect - It means you've decided to look beyond, Life's imperfections." ..{even if it's through perceived, 'convoluted' thinking!} 0:

Tom writes:
By the way I'm still not sure I'm not meditating whatever any of you guys say .
The King of the double negative. Toms so confused himself, how are we to understand anything he writes?
These are simply copies of your writing tom. You call me vitriolic (ha ha! You used a dictionary to my surprise). I'm only asking for you to explain your writing, which you never do. Probably because you never think before writing and when a contradiction or absurd nonsensical comment gets posted, your only defense is to call me hateful names.
I don't hate you tom. Hate is your issue. There is hope for you. I'll always believe that.
mdinnerspace wrote:
Tom wtites:
Well meditation isn't a combination of people .
What? ?? Please explain what in the heck this means.
I was told that thinking wouldn't bring me new information as it's an internal thing and involves no outside opinion . Then in the same post advised to meditate . I was making the point that meditation is an internal practice too .
By the way I don't think , I observe my thoughts , it's not the same .
Sa I love you !
I do experience rage though . Jealousy is tough . I get in a jealous rage at times . I sure wouldn't hurt anyone but I've not learned how to cope with jealousy particularly .
mdinnerspace wrote:
Tom writes:
By the way I'm still not sure I'm not meditating whatever any of you guys say .
The King of the double negative. Toms so confused himself, how are we to understand anything he writes?
Is anyone truly sure what meditation is ?
Chanting is meditating ? Observing breathing meditating ? Both ? I observe my thinking and feeling , my experience . Is that meditating . How can we precisely define what meditation is ?
And on a day, when I consider myself 'struggling' - The Primary default/ goal-oriented question, I ask myself, is: I wonder how much higher, I can raise my 'live-chess' online rating, today!? ..{True!} ..lol