Tell me something that no one else knows about you and I will tell you my darkest secret

No one in my life knows that at this very moment, I'm reading this topic.

You think my best friend knows I'm reading this right now?

Why?

This does not seem like a good idea. I don't think anyone would do this

One time when I was a kid I was staying at my friend's house. My friend was always really nice guy. Like the first time I met him was at school and I had no one to talk to, but he walked up to me and asked if I liked pokemon cards and we talked for like a whole hour after that lol.

He was always nice like that, so I had no reason to do anything bad to him. But that night at his house we were eating mac-n-cheese in his bedroom, when his mom called for him and he left me alone. No one was around or could see what I was about to do. I squatted over his mac-n-cheese and directed a fart into one of the noodles.

Turns out his mom wanted help folding some laundry, and my friend was full anyway, so no one ate the fart noodle. But even now, years later, I often lay in bed at night and wonder what might have happened. What if my friend, that was so nice to me, had come back into the room? Would I have confessed? Would I have quietly let him eat the tainted noodle? This is what keeps me from getting sleep. Aristotle said “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom," but since I will never know, I must live as a fool for the rest of my days. That's what I believe.

Creepy

I'm no good at role playing.

There are sites for that though. You can join one.

If you don't know, let me show you how
To work it out
Work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

I'm an adult and I've been messing around with you. You seem creepy and I don't want to roleplay.

You don't need me

There are actual roleplay websites.