13496 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Backgammon, Yatzy, and more!
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
When ill dieThe sea wont forget meThe moon will remind a fewNot to forget me for some timeBut im sureThe sea wont forget me
Is this shit?
Tell me the true.
when you write poetry, my friend, it has to have 'movement' as in rhyme and 'expression' was in similies and metephores, and always try and and take it where you want, in this case, a profound meaning or edge- ill try and explain...
should i die, and im set free
i pray the sea so green won't forget me
then the moon so blue, and the love from you
will remind the few of the deeds we do
when i die and im set free
let me hide beneath the sea
and not forgotten once in time
the love i held that first was mine
if i die and im set free
let me feel a part of thee
close together we will see
that the sea wont forget me
so here, i used your poem as a theme, notice how i kept returning to the theme, and manipulated it to drive the profound idea. also rhyming couplets give the sense of movement!
when you write poetry- say it back to yourself all the time and choose the words 'deliberately'
your poem was what id call a 'good idea' or a 'work in progress' when you write try to expand on the theme as i did in the example i wrote for you. the more you do it the easier it will come-
i wouldnt say that your poem was 'shit' it is very expressive, truely, next time, think of where you words are taking you, and then expand on that theme- dont be afraid to experiment with words and try to return to the theme this will give your work focus-
keep up the good work joao my friend
wow, you did real poetry !!!!!!!
thank you very much for all your suggestions.
ill try to do better, much better
Keep it up my friend. and to redfern-p... Well done!
White to move and win
by n9531l a few minutes ago
GM Igor Smirnov answers students’ questions
by lofina_eidel_ismail 5 minutes ago
by ratingkeepsgoingup 9 minutes ago
Oganizers and Profit
by richie_and_oprah 10 minutes ago
Daily Puzzle Submissions! *Be Involved*
by incorrectname 11 minutes ago
What People Do When They Loose
by Destroyer_Mark_1420 12 minutes ago
Botvinnik the great
by endermen1219 17 minutes ago
by endermen1219 18 minutes ago
by endermen1219 19 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2016 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!