The WSama Show - The Anti-Streamer Show #3

If this article so happened to activate the Skynet Launch Protocol, and the world was suddenly covered in flames and killer robots by the next morning, then you can bet your rump that everybody (including your neighbours) would be out in their pyjamas looting every store in sight (from hardware stores to supermarkets to Amazon storage facilities).

The question is, how would you know which foods you ought to swipe into your trolley, in order to survive?

Here's a nutrition guide that doesn't require any biology classes or Google searches, and it doesn't require you to load on carbs either.

Proteins

Firstly, I'd like to dispel all the hype surrounding protein. Yes, we know muscle junkies love to load on protein, and yes we know that's all they ever talk about. I mean some of these guys and girls actually sleep with protein bars decorating the dresser table. But there's actually more to protein than the hype on the labels.

...You're sitting on a bus on your way to work, and the guy across your seat sneezes right on you (WTF). You inhale the germs and they go straight to your lungs (OHN - oh hell naw). Fortunately, your body reacts faster than your lip could start an argument, and it immediately sends little soldiers out to begin the good fight for your health. The battle ensues without you even knowing and the good soldiers actually win the fight, but... they sort of wreck the house in the process and your lungs sustain some damage. Sure, you've now warded off the germs and spared yourself a trip to the hospital, but your body is wounded (what's an action scene without a little blood). How do your lungs recover in time for the next sneeze?

You guessed it! Your body uses proteins to perform all sorts of construction work and damage repairs.

It simply can't be helped. Our bodies are constantly at battle every minute of the day, and we don't even know it most of the time. Be it a virus, a convoy of germs, a muscle strain, or even a bump on the head, the human body is constantly subjected to a cycle of damage and repair, and the body needs proteins to do so.

So what happens when there's not enough protein in our systems? Those repairs never happen. And the things you never notice slowly begin to build up until you finally notice it. But by then you might have developed diabetes, broke a bone, contracted the coronavirus, who knows.

Fortunately, protein can be acquired from virtually all foods, even crawling worms. Scratch that - even dessert.

Proteins are the cornerstone of nutrition, so be sure to get enough of it for a strong and healthy body.

Energy (Calories)

Are you a warm blooded person? Do you start to feel hot when you're running around? Good! That means you're not a terminator sent by Skynet to murder us all, you're human!

Well, don't get too excited there honcho, because we actually have batteries in our bodies that keep us alive. Yep, we run on batteries too. The human battery is the fat in our bodies, the calories. Without it, everything stops moving, and when that happens we die. It's as simple as that.

P.S. Don't notify the authorities just yet, that was not a threat, just biological facts.

But what exactly is a calorie? A calorie is the potential to produce heat. A calorie is like gasoline. You see, the human body works much like how a steam train does. A steam train burns fuel to boil water in order to produce steam power. The human body also uses fuel (calories) to heat up and energize every living cell in our bodies. That's why we get so hot and sweaty when we're working really hard. So from breathing in bus germs into our lungs, to calculating chess moves with our brains, we need heat in our bodies to function, much like how a steam train works by boiling water.

Now you know. But there's a little more to it!

We can get these calories directly from our meals, or we can get them from burning our body fat, but the real truth is that we need both revenues in order to keep our systems stable.

Let's say a terminator has been sent after you. OMG it's freaking Arnold with a shotgun. You're running for your life, literally, but you're running on an empty stomach (should've grabbed that toast). No problem, your body starts using your body fat as a source of energy (yay). But wait a minute, your heart and your muscles are pumping way too fast from all that running, and your body simply can't burn enough fat in time to keep up with the energy demand (that's not a good sign). As a result, the amount of heat or energy being supplied to your entire body slowly starts to become irregular, and your body begins to experience power surges and brownouts (why is my heart beating funny or why am I feeling light headed?). That's a sign that something is going to crash soon, and hopefully it won't be your heart, because that would mean bye bye birdy, if you know what I mean.

Now if you had some toast in your stomach then your body could've had a second life line (a battery charger), and the stream of power being supplied to your entire body would have remained regular and healthy.

It's that simple; you wouldn't want your brand new iPhone being hurt by a power surge or a brownout from a faulty battery, so why would you let it happen to your body? Those power issues can cause you to pass out, or cause medical conditions in the long run. And in worse cases it can cause death.

Make sure you have at least the recommended percentage of fat in your body, because that is your battery. And also make sure to load a healthy meal in your stomach, because that is your battery charger. Avoid power surges and brownouts in your body because that can cause medical problems.

Oxygen

Have you seen those adventure movies where a bug or insect pops up in the middle of the forest and it's about as huge as a modern day cow in india? Well, that's actually true of the past, and apparently it was linked to a high oxygen content on the earth before we started cutting everything down.

More oxygen = stronger bodies for earthlings like us.

The simple secret is that the more you breathe, and the deeper you breathe, the healthier your body will be. Not only will your lungs become stronger, but every part of your body will experience accelerated function. That's not to say you'll become a giant, but you'll definitely become stronger.

Vitamins & Minerals

You need them guys. Sure, you could survive longer without these than you ever could without calories, protein and oxygen, but a shortage of vitamins and minerals will lead to complications in the long run. For example, a shortage of iron may lead to anemia in the future, and a shortage of calcium may lead to brittle bones in the future. There's no shortage of the conditions and illnesses that could arise from skipping out on your vitamins and minerals, so think about it.

We don't always get all the vitamins our bodies need from our diets because honestly it can get pretty costly trying to fit every type of vegetable and fruit into your fridge. But as stated above, the body isn't as demanding of vitamins as it is of protein, calories, and oxygen. So just try to do your best and grab those fruits and vegetables whenever you can.

Confidence & Water

If you're wondering whether you read that right, then the short answer is yes, confidence just made the nutritional list.

Basically, anything that isn't confidence is borderline stress. Sure, it might not be the level of stress that will turn your hair grey or stop your heart, but it's still stress nonetheless, and psychological stress has never been a good thing for your body.

Breathe, relax your body, and do everything with confidence, including the way you walk and the way you think - it'll cut any physical injuries you're likely to sustain to less than half of what it could've been.

Feel awake. Don't just waltz around the place half asleep. Be confident and awake, and you could be the next deadly shot, conqueror of Skynet.

And then there's water; it's not just for your kidneys. Every cell in your body needs water. If you're thinking about making the right choices in your life, if you're thinking about becoming healthier, then start with water.

Think about it this way: everything inside your body is basically swimming in fluids. It's like a miniature ocean in there! It even tastes salty like seawater... so try not to let that ocean run dry, or else your cells (fishes) will perish.

Footnotes

When I wrote this short basic guide, I had a few things in mind: firstly, I didn't want to waste anybody's time by telling them that they're eating all wrong, or by grilling them on what they should be buying as if I were paying the bill... because I'm certainly not paying that bill - you can be sure of that.

I simply believe that if everyone understood just exactly what their bodies were, then they'd naturally start taking a little better care of themselves. I mean some of us think that we're superman out here, you know? Myself included. And that's perfectly fine. But it's imperative that we realize that our bodies are much much more than just skin, bones and blood. There's so much going on in there. I mean just think about it: we've got electricity in our bodies, invisible light, various gases, bacteria, fluids, solids, metals such as iron, oils, acids, organs that do amazing jobs, and the list just keeps growing. I mean as good as a piece of fried chicken may taste, it's obviously not going to replenish everything on that list, if you know what I mean.

Also I'd like to say that despite my jokes :D I support veganism. I'm not necessarily a vegetarian. I believe in a person's right to eat meat just as I wouldn't try to keep a lion away from its kill. But I'm also against animal cruelty. I'm against all forms of cruelty, period. I mean some of the animals we're eating... the things they undergo -  it's enough to bring you to tears. You certainly wouldn't want your pet living that way if you had one.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to lend me an ear, or as in this case - your eyes... and fingers for scrolling.