5,000 Signs You Don't Know Enough About Chess

3053. First of all, stop cheating, your pawn can't capture like that. Second, just who do you think you're calling "an piss ant" here anyway? I tell you what. I'll claim win by disqualification and I suggest you learn how pawns move and learn what kind of an article goes before a word that begins with a consonant. 

People who don't play chess "properly" are bastards for beating you...!

You don't understand the value of stalemate or value the understanding of 'before' (ie: the past).

 3056. What are those bigger pawns for? What do they do?

Those at c1 and f1.

3057  - You're up two pawns and the exchange with mate in six on the board and you offer a draw. 

3058. WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO?

You just ate a ghost with your pawn. Take a good look pal, my pawn was BESIDE yours, you can't TAKE IT AND MOVE DIAGONALLY...

I'm reading this thread as I write, so forgive me if I repeat one, but how about this:

3059. You think accepting the danish gambit means that you give up your king(and the game) but your opponent has to buy you a chocolate danish

idk what that means but it was funny xD

Wind it's because the name is the danish gambit so you think accepting it means losing(giving something up) for a danish

3061. When you are in a conversation and someone is mentioning the advantage of the bishop pair. You stop taking part of the conversation, looking amazed and after a while you ask 'but I thought they were not allowed to marry?'

You have trouble understanding Stalemate.

@timbeau: Do you have trouble adding numbers? 

 3062 when you think check mate is first aid lingo to make sure an uncounsious person is breathing.

3063  -  You think "check mate" is an affirmative response from your friend.

3064. When you think that Alexandra Kosteniuk is primairily known for her beauty.

3065. You play this game

3066: You have a rating lower than 900 (Speaking for myself here)

3067: you ask 'as black or as white?' when you hear that one should not play the game @3065.

3068: You spend your time creating a game where white promotes 8 pawns @3065

(hahaha jk)