the never ending chess story

he forgot his keys. Now he will be out of key in a room full of ex-Hulks.

And, having lost his old key, he will not get any nookie.

Desperately, he looked for something else to pick the lock...

Before they discovered the fried chicken liver attack

His giblets were in a knot and required a gentle massage at the molecular level.

And so he was massaged... and he died of being masssaged too long. So, he woke up in Minecraft 1.2.3.....

where he was stuck in a mine. Someone was playing minecraft, but unfortunately, the mine exploded.

but then, the mine reasembled and exploded again!!!

Elvis found out there was only one way to stop the explosion, but it was very risky. He ran to every mine, but one mine just exploded on top of him.

he was trapped, nowhere left to turn. there was another man trapped in there. he ate the stranger, tearing limb from limb

He was delicious, but he almost ran out of Chianti.

but realised there was no toilet paper

Out of desperation he started searching for apps in his iphone

he found a one ply app but he clearly needed a three ply app

And not even this gallant effort was enough.

So Elvis fainted.

in a bowl of pudding

Since it was banana pudding, he ate it with relish, which was weird, because relish doesn't go well with pudding, especially banana pudding.

and noted the clever play on words with a certain relish