Anatomy of a Loser

 The notes tell a tale of quiet desperation. I hope that you enjoy tapping into the mind of a beginner. I would like to ask the other beginners for forgiveness, since I am, after all, letting everyone know the secrets of their flaws. It does take a lot of skill to lose gracefully. My advice to all those losers out there is to not take yourself so seriously. If you lose, you are learning afterall, and there is always a way to profit from your misery.  

I must admit, this turn based thing had really done a tango in my brain. I have never had so much time to fret about a move I did or didn't do. Ask Rael, the gentle opponent who acted as my psychotherapist during the devastating game. For pete's sakes, it even brough up issues I had with my mother!

Now, please, enjoy watching me collapse.

~Aeppel 

you have a gift for words, if not for chess  

 but you're better than a 1054. slightly better analysis of the position (try flipping the board to see how your opponent might be looking at things - often sheds light on your weaknesses) and simply weeding out the obvious errors is low lying fruit for making you a better player.

 that said, I've just blundered myself in one of my games ;)

After our game I played through some more variations on the analysis board and I saw some really powerful maneuvers on your side of the board - you weren't beaten by any stretch. I think you were powerfully psyching yourself out - as the annotation attests, your mind was my unwitting ally. You're better at chess than you're letting yourself think.

p.s. look at the move you played on turn 23. Haha!

I think 10.Nd5 loses a piece to 10...Nxd5, and if you recapture, 11...Bxg5

and you're right, this turn based thing drives you nuts

I also enjoyed the annotations.

I don't know if I would have resigned where you did although I don't think you have a threat that black cannot counter. But you do have discovered attacks that are worth a try.

I am not mad for f5 as black's Nxf5 counters it too easily.  And I don't really like fxe either as RxRf1+ 31 Kxf1 Rf8+ 32 Kg1 Be7 swaps rooks to his advantage, but I would have tried it.  You then have 33 c3 bxc 34 Qxc and look at that situation? 

 I really appreciate this continued annotation. I looked through it, and truly it would have been worth a try to push the game further a few inches, but I still think that the opponent's pieces were at an advantageous position that, if I even desire to push the game further, these moves could be ignored in order to advance a successful check mate. You are right, everything I could have done could have been countered or ignored....or at least I felt so :P

And on, Rael's comment, yes, it is true. My nerves truly got the best of me on this game. I am training myself to be more calm AND especially to heed this advice:  “When you see a good move, look for a better one”
(Emanuel Lasker)

Nice game, Apple.

Very nice annotations.

Don't be so ready to sacrifice. Make your enemy work for everything (even if you like him).

"afterall, and there is always a way to profit from your misery."

You just told me how to become a zillionare!

I'll pay you to annotate some of my games! :P