Ke2! Ke3! Kf4!

It is a well-known strategy to develop your king, to entice your opponents to create weaknesses on your kingside. Your knight and queen will exploit the enemy's position easily. 

Even though you failed to walk your king completely across the board, I think Lenny Bongcloud would be proud of you.

Stupid computer can't appreciate your genius...

Indeed

Nf3 Ng1 Nf3 Ng1 Nf3 Ng1 Nf3 Ng1 Nf3
An example of another infamous tactic. Only respond with another move when absolutely necessary. Your 900 opponent will naturally throw pieces at you.

for the second match; it shows that the initial position has a good integrity. just needs a few reinforcements on weak f2/f7. i wonder if it works on high level players

for the first one; just Lol

Everybody knows that pushing many pawns to the 3rd rank is a good strategy. To complete the game, always make sure to replace all your pieces and checkmate them with everything on the back rank, ready to start for the next game.

Brilliant game lol

dude just raged on board

I don't blame the computer for not appreciating your genius. 

Lol

The Bongcloud as well as any knight back and forth are indeed the best openings. I had an 11-game winning streak purely by playing these openings, but when I switched to a normal opening, I quickly lost to a checkmate on h2. But then I switched back to these knight back and forth openings, and I was winning games again. True story.

Oh, so that's the logic behind king david's!

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/chess-openings/king-davids-opening

This guy has figured out how to chess