could any of you guys beat magnus

if you guys played some obscure uncommon opening to throw him off guard

Could I bring my hoe?

Yeah i reckon i could beat him if i played the Bongcloud attack

I could beat him with the Cricket Bat Attack.

There's a guy who can beat me every time, and the guy who can beat him every time, and the guy who can beat him every time, and the guy who can beat him every time - and then we're getting about as far as we get before we say "and Magnus can beat him every time".

Maybe if he responds with the infamous King's Gambit 

In daily chess after heavy consumption of alcohol.And if slept right at the previous night of the match.

Once upon a time when I was little boy and knew the chess like you, Karpov ruled the world with iron fist. I also speculated if he would have fallen into Scholar's mate.

If he played without queen and with only 1 sec per move, I could beat him :)

ConnorMacleod_151 can beat him anytime , but his wife not letting him do this, as she is a magnus fan.

The problem with obscure openings against Magnus is that he is the king of obscure openings and often does tricks that is not in the book.

He will love it, and punish it directly.

I will loose against him, I guess in 1000 out of 1000 tries.

In something else than chess, I'd probably see a slight chance.