Embrace Losing

I have been playing chess for a while.  I grew up playing sports and didn't learn the game until my mid-twenties. I read some books, bought the chessmaster CD, and was off to learning the game.

Most physical sports I was good at instantly, but chess to me was more like golf...FRUSTRATING.

I quickly found online chess to be the only consistent place I could find people who played chess.  I got a rating and pretty much stuck at 1300 to 1400 for the first year.

I never really had the time to give to studying openings or strategy or even tactics.  I just sort of learned through repetition and trial and error.

Through all this time I had this overwhelming desire to win games.  My rating was paramount to gauging my ability.

After reaching 1600 or so. I could sometimes put together really brilliant games, and would still make ridiculous blunders.  I also had hit a wall.  I was still so concerned with winning and my rating I just couldn't break through the 1600 barrier.

I became frustrated with chess....and just stopped playing.

Fast-forward about 6 months.  I was in a Book Store looking for something to read and found myself looking through some old book on chess tactics.  It was fun trying to solve the problems all in my head without being able to move a piece. 

I put that book down and picked up a book called "The Art of Learning" by non other than my old Chessmaster teacher Josh Waitzkin.

I didn't read much of the book, but what I did read gave me an epiphany to why I'd hit such a hard wall in chess.

It was so obvious.  My own need to win was actually destroying my ability to grow as a player.  So it was my own stupid vanity!

I decided to embrace losing!!  Obviously, I wasn't trying to lose games, but I decided I was going to only play players who would/should trounce me.  Being a 1600 level player I started only playing people 1700 or higher.

What happened over the next month or so was really thrilling.  My winning percentage went negative, but my rating shot up.  As my rating got above 1700, I decided that I would only play 1780 or better. 

I consistently beat 2000+ players daily now, and I have no fear when I play, because it is a learning opportunity, not a pointless excercise to stroke my own ego.

I don't mind losing now and actually just take my losses as learning experiences instead of letting it affect my "EGO"...cause really who cares right?

Anyways, I just wanted to write this as an encouragement to all players who have hit walls.  The doorway to getting better at chess is losing.  Embrace IT!!

Why you must be Jesus Christ.

..

I don't get that comment?

To an extent, I agree with this.  Since I've stopped worrying about winning or losing and care more for the quality of the game, win or lose, I find I'm having the best results of my career.  I don't advise embracing losses, but I do advise relaxing, having fun, and playing chess.  If an anchor is weighing you down, the best thing you can do is to let it go.  But that was a hard lesson to learn.

Remember dueds, its not about winning or loseing, its about getting your king to the other side

I agree.  I never ever thought of playing chess for any other reason than to enjoy it.  Certainly I play to win, but not to supercharge my ego as though winning proves my intelligence is better because I play chess and have a high rating. (I have no idea what my rating is, and I couldn't care less.)  If I attempted to do that the fun, enjoyment and relaxation would leave the room. I just enjoy observing the many positions one can come across in chess. And that includes my opponent's. 

I feel sorry for those that chess has caught them up in some sort of hypnotic slavery that drives them to reaching a higher rating at any cost.  I don't think wanting a higher rating is not worthy goal. However, when it takes away the enjoyment of playing chess to the extent, as some have written in these forms, as making them mad or finding it necessary to get away from chess for awhile, that is strange to me. Ego can make life so much less enjoyable. 

I appreciate your positive comments and outlook.  I was just curious why you only play 1/0 games.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

I don't just play 1/0 games.  But the honest truth is I believe there are just a lot of cheaters.  In the few standard games I've played I've got 2 people's accounts banned for cheating...which is a high percentage. 

I just don't like playing computers when I come online to play humans.  1/0 chess seems to not have this problem.

Bravo my friend. Bravo. I figured that out not too long ago. I used to get upset when I lost a game. Now it doesn't bug me as much. Now if I lost the game on time when I was trouncing the dude the entire time; I'm pissed more than pissed actually. Haha but check out my win/lose ratio.

If you want to improve your game for real stop playing bullet chess.

Losing seems to have embraced me lately, does that count?

But on a slightly more serious note, the best chess players in the world lose games.  If you can't handle a loss without too much stress then try collecting stamps as a hobby. 

Rather than embracing losing, I've found it useful to embrace my inner nerd. Nurture your inner nerd, and your chess abilities will improve exponentially!

Winning is right. Losing is wrong.

A tried and true parenting formula guaranteed to turn out kids no one can stand. 

I like your post alot; THANKS!

EGO is a big stumbling block as you try to progress at ANYTHING. It seems with chess, winning = a demonstration of one's intelligence. So when you win, you're intelligent (maybe even brilliant!), but when you lose, you're dumb and stupid! In all my striving to get better at chess, all I'm left with is this simple truth: IT'S A GAME! Isn't your life worth so much more than how well you can play a GAME? Chess is a great game, but it's still just a game.

Ah yes, my beloved Hitler stamps. I can't even show them to anyone without being misunderstood. It was all that stress that drove me to chess.

What's with these J.D. Salinger (RIP) highlights in exclamation

I wonder if he's really dead or if he just finally figured out a way to keep people from trying to bother him . . .