Strange insults

I'd like to start a collection of the weirdest names people have been called in live chess.

My opponent just called me an "Older monkey"

Older monkeys are very experienced,They don't eat green bananas and I think the youngest Monkeys either

Nah wasn't him. I won't name and shame, that just gives publicity and attention to pathetic bullies who don't deserve it.

Old chimps eat young chimps, I'm not aware of the same behaviour in monkeys but could happen.

,

u looking at me.... are u looking at me ? there's no-one else in this tree, so u must be looking at me!

they called me once "typewriting monkey" :)

There is an Elder Monkey in the Monkey Island games. An expert in insult I think.

This one must be a younger monkey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=XeNV5PQlZ8o&NR=1

I quite like monkeys.

Here's another one. I had just played a 1/0 game and beat the guy, although it was close and there was a 300-pt rating gap. I thought he played ok. I offered a rematch and he says

"I don't see why you feel the need to be this rude. Go away."

Neither of us had said anything previously, we were just playing...

Wow, I am attracting these types this evening. I played three bullet games against an opponent. After the three games, I typed "thanks", and he simultaneously typed an expletive. He just got there first, so it looked like I was thanking him for swearing at me.

Enough chess....