100 Jokes to cheer your day up!

Feeling sad? Prepare to be overwhelm by 100 jokes!

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
7. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
8. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
9. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
11. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
12. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
13. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
14. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks.
15. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
16. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
17. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
18. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
19. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
20. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
21. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
22. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
23. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
24. Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers? Because they were odd.
25. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
26. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
27. Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
28. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
29. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
30. Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
31. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
32. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
33. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
34. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
35. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
36. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
37. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
38. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
39. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
40. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
41. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
42. What did one plate say to another? Lunch is on me.
43. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
44. Why don’t you ever tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn have ears.
45. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
46. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many problems.
47. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
48. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
49. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
50. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
51. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles — because there’s a mile between the first and last letters.
52. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
53. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
54. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
55. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
56. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
57. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
58. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
59. Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
60. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
61. What do you call a fish that plays piano? A scale.
62. Why did the musician break up with his metronome? It just wasn’t in time anymore.
63. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
64. What did the wall say to the ceiling? "You’re on top of things."
65. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
66. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
67. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
68. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
69. How do cows stay up to date with current events? They read the moos-paper.
70. Why don’t you ever see pigs hiding in trees? Because they’re not very good at it.
71. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
72. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
73. What did one hat say to another? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
74. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
75. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
76. Why was the student afraid of geometry? It was too plane.
77. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino (pronounced "I'll effin' o").
78. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
79. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
80. What do you call a fish that’s good at school? A clever carp.
81. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
82. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
83. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
84. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite.
85. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
86. What did one snowman say to the other? “Do you smell carrots?”
87. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
88. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
89. Why don’t you ever trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
90. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
91. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
92. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
93. Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
94. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
95. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
96. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
97. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
98. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
99. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
100. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I hope you like these jokes! Tell me which one was your favourite.

Thank you for spending your time on this!

- @thinhdoduy