Actually help me/give advice, in real life - Chess Forums - Page 2

MovedtoLiches

Nov 16, 2020

0

#21

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

you said that almost like you expected me to care

Do your parents approve of your online persona?

MovedtoLiches

Nov 16, 2020

0

#22

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

you said that almost like you expected me to care

Do your parents approve of your online persona?

whats wrong with it? I dont have to care about every marriage

Show the conversation to your parents. Ask their opinion. I would be curious to hear their opinion.

x-3292234623

Nov 16, 2020

0

#23

I honestly can't give you much advice, but I do hope you make the right choice!

MovedtoLiches

Nov 16, 2020

0

#24

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

you said that almost like you expected me to care

Do your parents approve of your online persona?

whats wrong with it? I dont have to care about every marriage

Show the conversation to your parents. Ask their opinion. I would be curious to hear their opinion.

What makes me want to? Now you act all semi friendly but otherwise the only forum interaction i've had with you is more or less negative

You assume a negative context. That says a lot about you, and very little about me. Why not assume I have altruistic intentions, and reread any previous posts where you assumed a negative connotation. Maybe you are failing to understand my intent.

x-3292234623

Nov 16, 2020

0

#25

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

you said that almost like you expected me to care

Do your parents approve of your online persona?

whats wrong with it? I dont have to care about every marriage

Show the conversation to your parents. Ask their opinion. I would be curious to hear their opinion.

What makes me want to? Now you act all semi friendly but otherwise the only forum interaction i've had with you is more or less negative

You assume a negative context. That says a lot about you, and very little about me. Why not assume I have altruistic intentions, and reread any previous posts where you assumed a negative connotation. Maybe you are failing to understand my intent.

The internet is a negative place, what else am I supposed to assume?

AthenaTheChessCub

Nov 16, 2020

0

#26

I'm just a boy with pretty much 0 advice, but I think the reason she didn't tell you is either cuz she wants to forget about you, or she wants to talk to you, but feels way too insecure about herself because you dont talk to her anymore, but everyone has to move on with life and get a job better than taco bell, looking at your post seems like you need to focus on things other than girlfriends at this point in life.

catmaster0

Nov 16, 2020

0

#27

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

How old are the grandkids?

monkeynuts12

Nov 16, 2020

0

#28

Alright mako, I don't know too much about your situation, but it all depends on what stage you are going through in your life. If you are in high school, there is the slightest chance that your girlfriend will become your wife in such in the future. But, if you are college aged or older, you should realize that it's her decision whether she wants you or not. If you loved her you would accept it. In the end, I don't know sh*t. Good Luck mate.

monkeynuts12

Nov 16, 2020

0

#29

Oh damn, I read it again, I understand now.

monkeynuts12

Nov 16, 2020

0

#30

You're 17, she went to the dance wit you and didn't talk after that?

psychohist

Nov 16, 2020

0

#31

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

While I agree with your advice, if you already have four grandkids after only 20 years, I guess I'm surprised your kids managed to buy houses so fast.

Mako_Cat

Nov 16, 2020

0

#32

monkeynuts12 wrote:

You're 17, she went to the dance wit you and didn't talk after that?

Just after the dance our relationship started slowly getting “worse” (idk) instead of better

AthenaTheChessCub

Nov 16, 2020

0

#33

wait a minute, did she leave on friday the thirteenth?

MovedtoLiches

Nov 16, 2020

0

#34

psychohist wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

While I agree with your advice, if you already have four grandkids after only 20 years, I guess I'm surprised your kids managed to buy houses so fast.

My oldest son and my daughter both spent 8 years in the military. My youngest married his high school sweetheart. My youngest is 30. My oldest grandchild is 9. There are some more figures for your equation.

TheBestBeer_Root

Nov 16, 2020

0

#35

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

I speak from experience.

you said that almost like you expected me to care

Do your parents approve of your online persona?

whats wrong with it? I dont have to care about every marriage

Show the conversation to your parents. Ask their opinion. I would be curious to hear their opinion.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

.......mask’d cowboy’s spot on

Xhive24

Nov 16, 2020

0

#36

ExploringWA wrote:

psychohist wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

hvenki wrote:

ExploringWA wrote:

At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way.

While I agree with your advice, if you already have four grandkids after only 20 years, I guess I'm surprised your kids managed to buy houses so fast.

My oldest son and my daughter both spent 8 years in the military. My youngest married his high school sweetheart. My youngest is 30. My oldest grandchild is 9. There are some more figures for your equation.

Are you retired, what job do you/did you have???

Xhive24

Nov 16, 2020

0

#37

krazeechess wrote:

Just text her

text her saying that you like her or text her about her not talking to you as much

Again like stated before, if you want to pursue relationships text her, if not then concentrate on your career and school, even stop chess.com for a while, chess is great but what happens in your life matters most

TheBestBeer_Root

Nov 16, 2020

0

#38

indeed

Mako_Cat

Nov 16, 2020

0

#39

AthenaTheChessCub wrote:

wait a minute, did she leave on friday the thirteenth?

OMG... It’s true. Friday 13 is a terrible day. That’s the day I found out about it

Kaon_497

Nov 16, 2020

0

#40

Ok I am going to give you the best advice I can. There are some important things missing like do you study and if you are planning to go on uni, then are your parents taking care of it financially and do you live with your parents, I assume you live with your parents.

First things first, I’m going to crush any possible ideas you might have of marriage or other long term future things and such. If you are willing to man up and start living indepently so you don’t have to take into consideration what your parents want, then that’s how you could, but I suppose that’s way too far out of your comfort zone at the moment. Perhaps you would rather live with your parents even if you cannot decide everything on your own and that’s fine. Now if you steel your heart and prepare yourself for no long term future, fully accepting that, then maybe you can message and look for some nice experiences in the short term, but that has all the risks of heartbreak and regret and whatnot.

Long advice short. Forget dating, or making her a girlfriend. You are not independent, you are just going along with other peoples’ whims. If you truly want a chance, then go for it and be prepared to live on your own independently when you get found out. If you continue relying on your parents, then if you want to play it safe cut it off. You are going to risk serious heartbreak but I can’t really tell you if the risk is worth it, that’s up to you. I’m just going to relay my own experience that the highs are much higher than normal everyday life and the lows are much lower... So my recommendation is that only risk it if it’s something you really want to experience right now. Otherwise wait for someone who you are more likely going to have a future with. And the very first thing, and this is a must, either commit to living under your parents and abandoning long term future with this girl or commit yourself to fully indulging yourself and being mentally prepared to separate from your parents. Trust me, you are going to suffer if you fall in love with this girl and are too weak to live on your own and get separated like that.