Hazel is secretly my girlfriend.

Or, better yet, my slay bae tae tae.

Well, I can understand how this may come as a surprise to all of you. Everyone from otf, and even people from clubs are stopping by seeing this post and wondering... "Wow, I'm jealous of Hazel". And I can understand that. But don't worry, everyone. You can dry your tears, because I'll still talk to you every day.

But how exactly did we come to the conclusion that we should date, anyway? So, at first, I saw her continuously posting on my "I'm looking for a swexy girlfriend" thread. And then it came to me that she kept posting there because she desperately wanted to date me, right? I then made a sudden decision and asked, "tae tae, is there a deeper reason of why you keep posting on my thread"? At first, she was like, "no, basix, I just like talking to you." Then, I started wearing her down, and she finally admitted to having a bit of a crush on her beloved basix. After hearing this, I knew it was my destiny to date her, even if she was my sister beforehand. She then told me that it was my swexyness, and my incredibly kind and humorous personality that led her to fall for me. She fainted on our Facetime call, leading us to never Facetime again. Even hearing my voice makes her quiver of nervousness talking to me. But then, I thought of some good ideas on why we should date.

So, I was thinking. It would be quite nice to walk into the local Cheesecake Factory with somebody, instead looking like a creep that sits all by himself and eats alone.

Of course, I needed someone to listen to Ari with me. So I didn't have to share my love for Ari all alone, yknow?

There was this thought of needing help with my poor geometry homework. And of course, memorizing what a chloroplast does in a cell. Tae tae taught me that. I now have all A's due to her helping me cheat on my tests. Just don't tell anyone, will yer?

I needed someone to beat people up for me, mostly. I couldn't do it myself, of course, but I thought it was a little rude to take my Starbursts. Turns out that was tae tae's favorite candy.

I needed to finally teach her that clubs aren't worth it, and that she should leave them all. She did instantly.

There's a lot more, like trust, loving each other, her personality, all that lame stuff, but that's most of it.

Our first date was precisely 3 weeks ago, in which we ate at the local Cheesecake Factory. It felt so good to say, "Table for two, please". I sat across from my slay bae tae tae. We actually had the exact same idea, in which we said at the same time "Were not really going to eat dinner here, are we"? And then I knew she was the one for me. We shared a strawberry cheesecake and had water with lemons in them. Fancy! We laughed with each other, had some great conversations, and it was amazing looking at my swexy tae tae's face across from me. When it was finally time to go, I paid for the cheesecake, and we went on our way. We took an Uber back to my house, and we decided to watch TV for a bit. We watched "Wednesday" and "Orange is the new black". Poor tae tae didn't tell me how much she hated the show until 17 minutes in. When it was time for her to go, I knew that I had found the perfect girlie for me.

We still go on many dates now. We finally got to the "match pfps" stage a few days ago. We have 7 matching rings, for each day of the week. We go to coffee shops and sing karaoke on Friday nights. Oh wait! We play dress-up and dress like magical fairies. We have competitions on how many expired graham crackers we can fit in our mouths at once. It goes without saying that I always win these competitions.

We have some boundaries. We can't talk to anyone else in real life, since were both so jealous of the other talking to anyone else. We prefer to only talk to each other, and be together 24/7, never to do anything else. She has to tell me every dark secret she's ever had, which were still in the process of. And of course, we must write love poems to each other and read them to each other before we go to sleep.

So, why did we tell you guys, anyway? You guys were onto us. Everyone kept telling others that I was Hazel's boyfriend. And you guys were so right. We were just so glued to each other that we didn't care to even tell anyone until now. In fact, it's really killing me to not see her. It's been too long! I've got to see my slay bae tae tae. Maybe she'll be up for cheesecale and kareokke tonight like usual, and a nice movie with starbursts afterwards. Maybe I'll draw something nice for her during this time. I can't believe I've taken 30 minutes to write this, and have survived without her.

We have marriage plans, as well. We're trying to bend the rules so that the both of us can marry now. If we ever do, you guys are all invited. I hope to see you guys there, and to be with tae tae on Honeymoon Avenue very soon!

Thanks for reading all of this. It means so much to me that you guys have taken time to read our love story, and your support means the world. I love you all, but not nearly as much as tae tae. But whatever. I have to find her. I miss her already.

Why am I not surprised by any of this.

I had to add it, babe.

So yosuga no sora is real?

k

Lmaooooooooo. Macho, we need someone strong to carry the drinks for the wedding. Can you help us out?

You guys are really having a wedding 🤷‍♂️

Wow, I'm jealous of Hazel. But I'll dry my tears.

We probably shouldn't be talking to people here. Especially when we could be with each other instead.

What kind of tissue will you be using?

All I have is an old dish sponge

Basix you did this to me, it's your fault I'm about to put this sponge into my eyes to quench my tears. How did it all come to this, why?!

'secretly', like most of us didn't already know lol.

What's going on here?

Tell me.