Marrying your girlfriend when she weighted 120 pounds and 12 years later, she weighs 220 pounds!
Being a Buffalo Bills football fan. The suffering goes on...and on...and on...
Being a Chicago Bears football fan. The suffering goes on...and on...and on...
standing in a bus as it careers around a corner causing you to lose your balance and you end up head butting an elderly lady knocking her unconscious.
Buses have no careers, and neither will you after head butting that elderly lady; you must have meant: careens around a corner?
if you vote for yourself in the 2020 presidential elections you will win the elections and be president and you will also win the lottery for $1billion if you cash in your ticket and you will be able to go to the international space station if you cash in the gold ticket you found in your chocolate bar, but before you get to do any of those things, you slip on a banana peel and break your spine and you are paralysed and nobody sees you so you spend your last days lying on the floor unable to do anything and trump wins again because you didnt vote for yourself
straight before you are about to die, a bird flys in through your open window and poops in your mouth, causing you to swallow the poop and live a little longer
this happens again and again for all eternity and you will never die
getting body slammed by a sumo wrestler while trying to fall asleep on a bed of nails, probably while on holiday in India or something (not really sure where the sumo wrestler came from, could have been kicked out of Tokyo or something).
Never had such a question, great job DUDE!