BBV-Beaten By Vinci-He is supposed to be a philosopher,not a GM.
MBE-Murdered By Einstein-He is so bad at chess that I am better than him at it.
RTL-Responded To Linuxblue1-Like me.
I want these FIDE titles
Sort:
linuxblue experienced a flash of inspiration:
FIDE doesn't care about customer service. There are new titles that are crying out to be earned. There are many accomplishments that must be recognised. I want to be a :
WOM - worst opening master. The Fred [1.e4 f5] and the Beerpong [1.f3 and Kf2 followed by the King zorba dancing up the board] must be mastered to earn this prestigious title.
I'm so sorry, but WOM has, in fact, been awarded since 1999. The WOM title is hideously inflated...so many people have it...go fly a kite.
0
#4
What? Inflated? Been awarded since 1999? Damn. I will have to invent new patzer openings to get my WOM rating up.
SMC-Self Mating Champion-You can mate yourself even when you're not even trying.
0
#6
UTC - Ultimate Troll Champion. Awarded for useless threads on chess forums, especially ones on why women get titles just for women, FIDE being an intergalactic conspiracy, and threads on Carlsen's shoe size, Anand's brand of deodorant or anything else about the useless details of world championship combatants.
linuxblue1 is tired of repetitive threads:
UTC - Ultimate Troll Champion. Awarded for useless threads on chess forums, especially ones on why women get titles just for women, FIDE being an intergalactic conspiracy, and threads on Carlsen's shoe size, Anand's brand of deodorant or anything else about the useless details of world championship combatants.
I object to the awarding of the title of UTC to discussions about Anand's brand of deodorant.
NWL-never won in life!
SS-super spammer
fltsrymy wants a title:
NWL-never won in life!
SS-super spammer
The NWL title is not awarded in the USA.
Please Sign Up to comment.
If you need help, please contact our Help and Support team.
FIDE doesn't care about customer service. There are new titles that are crying out to be earned. There are many accomplishments that must be recognised. I want to be a :
IH - International hacker.
EPM - En Prise Master: give away all of your pieces with maximum efficiency. Vassily Ivanchuk has been the first to earn this but so far he hasn't turned up at the FIDE awards ceremony. Rumours abound that Mr Ivanchuk has sent a box of broken chess pieces to FIDE in an EMO tanty.
SMM - sui mate master. The ability to get yourself checkmated in otherwise winning positions. The Backyard Professor claims that he can do this with a lone king but Mr Rubik of Rubik's Cube fame says "no no Mister Backyard dat dis impossible - I have 10000 word mathematical proof".
WOM - worst opening master. The Fred [1.e4 f5] and the Beerpong [1.f3 and Kf2 followed by the King zorba dancing up the board] must be mastered to earn this prestigious title.
NIEM - No Idea Endgame Master - If Edmar Mednis said that the point of the endgame is to queen a pawn then these maestros never read the book.
Come on FIDE! Wake up! People want these titles! There is glory to be had!