Ok, but you need to sack the waitress first. Don't tell her I wanted her job though.
who ever made the tea , sure made it good.

Oh dear, I see how this is going to go....
im just the porter, don't want the waiters job after all!

No no no, I resigned the waiters post, in fact you never sacked the waitress and I was never formally appointed.

Ok, this is a difficult negotiation. You want me for the waiters post and you're trying to tempt me with the pecuniary advantages of the position.
But a good Human Resources manager needs to evaluate all aspects of the position he's trying to fill. If the employee isn't happy he's not going to perform to the best of his ability.
Perhaps you should reconsider?
Waiter...stop the messing