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Chess is (anything but) fun Opening Series #1: The Birds

Joseph_Truelson
Oct 16, 2016, 5:03 PM 11

The only photo in this blog is courtesy of Joseph_Truelson. Also, notice that all quotes in this blog are slightly altered (If they aren't, then I will mention it). And by "slightly altered", it is what I determine as slightly altered, not them. I did not get their permission at all when writing this. 

Imagine the horror when I log onto chess.com, and go to my tracked activity and see this:

They didn't even ask my permission if they could make blogs (as any good chess.com member does). They just went write to it! (No one noticed the pun). 

 

Well, they need to know that no good deed goes unpunished. To punish them I will make fun of ALL THREE of their silly posts. I will not make fun of them one by one, but three by three. Get ready canwedoit, Mr_Penings, and ChessNut (The rest of his name is too long)

I am not promoting these terrible blogs, but if you want to read them to have a fuller understanding of this blog, maybe you should read them first:

Unultimate opening encounter

Worst gambit in the Caro-Kann

The newest opening the English

Anyways, since their blogs are about openings, mine will have to be one about an opening too! And not openings that are never played like the English opening (What is that opening?), Penings-He Gambit in the Caro Kann (At least I've heard of it!), or even the openings I see all the time in my tournament games like the Albino Hedgehog or the Nocturnal Knight. I am going to mention a respected opening that is played right to the top level, the Birds!

Double Birds

First we should mention when these openings are played against each other. The best openings are the Bird's (1.f4) and the reversed Bird's (1...f5).

"So what happens when the two best openings ever combat? You get a loss!" (canwedoit)

To start off, I will show a quick losing trap where a cheater defeated and lost to a talented chess-playing chestnut. This shows what can happen if Black plays too fast or is too careless in the opening..." (Mr_Penings)

" Not Solid play from both sides, definitely a lot of mistakes.' (canwedoit) 

Even though they are cheaters!

So what happenned in that game? It is a good question. If you guys didn't notice, both players in that game were cheaters. So when they played together, since they both knew they were cheaters, they knew that engine vs. engine would be a draw. So they decided that to win they would need to make moves that the engine wouldn't find. Unfortuantely, the game was being broadcasted live, so when they started to cheat and put queens on the board they were both immediately forfieted because their moves were too good. Therefore, when the best two openings face off each other, you get a loss!

"Well, I did create this blog post only to brag how good I am at chess" (Mr_Penings) I probably will need to show my own examples too. So I will take the following model game. I played super aggresive, and showed that to win in the Bird's that you need to push the b pawn as well as the f pawn! Because they are bf's (best friends)

"Overall Conclusion

The Bird's is more than OK" (ChessNut)

I know that I should have made this longer, but this is a good enough arugment to convince you all that what canwedoit, Mr_Penings, and ChessNut did was terrible! Creating opening series without my input! If they had my input then their blogs would have been something worth reading.


"Next I'll probably be looking at 1. e4 f5 or the London. Depends on what my "fans" don't want or if they don't like this series..." (Chess Nut)

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